Requests
by LlewellynPrince
Summary: These are drabble requests from people. if you want a fic email or revew me what you want to happen. SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**acthy**'s story request

_pairing: Sheppard/McKay  
what you want to happen: Make one of them high on something  
word or phrase you would like one of the characters to say "Just give me what I want, and no one gets hurt"  
rating: hit me hard_

**Lab**

Major John Sheppard of the United States Air Force grinned evilly as he dripped the purple liquid into Rodney's coffee cup. He dropped the vial into his pocket and stuffed the last of McKay's coffee into his other one. He checked over his shoulder to see if anyone had seen him then quickly ducked out of the lab and walked down the hall whistling. Rodney wasn't going to know what hit him, he thought smugly and headed to his room.

_**John Sheppard's Private Quarters**_

"Major." John eyes snapped open when a whispered breath danced over his ear. He shot up in bed and saw Rodney standing next to it, glaring at him.

"What's going on McKay? Is there some short of emergency?" he rubbed his eyes.

"Where is my coffee, Major?" McKay growled John looked up; he'd totally forgotten he'd done that and Rodney really didn't look happy.

"I don't know what your talking about McKay." He swallowed, McKay really, really, didn't look happy.

"You took it."

"No, I didn't." Rodney moved quicker then John would have thought possible and pinned him to the bed, pressing his thigh against John's now ragging erection. "Ro-Rodney?" This was different, normally he was the dominate one.

"Just give me what I want, and no one gets hurt." Rodney growled, god John hadn't thought it was possible to get any hard then he was but apparently he was wrong, the line sent him to a whole new level of lust.

"Rodney." He let out a strangled whimper as Rodney started moving against him, pressing his thigh down and rubbing.

"Give it to me, Major." Rodney growled nipping on his ear, John moaned.

"I don't…have…IT" He nearly screamed when Rodney bit down hard on his neck that was going to leave a mark. Rodney nibbled down his neck and started in on one of his nipples. John desperately tried to think straight and remember where he'd hid Rodney's coffee, but then Rodney, after somehow getting rid of his boxers without John noticing started going down on him and oh god that was good, Rodney had a very talented tongue. God were those stars he was seeing? Wait, why was the ceiling pink? Oh fuck, where did Rodney learn to do that? Ah, damn, he moaned long and loud, it felt like Rodney was trying to suck him inside out. Oh, that was a cold finger, oh fuck that felt good. McKay's finger brushed his prostate and John arched off the bed. Fuck, McKay had good hands, he hand really good hands, he had several hands. John blinked as things went out of focus and screamed when he came. When he opened his eyes he was looking up at the roof of an Athosian hut. Oh wow. One of the Athosian women leaned over him, holding a pipe. John looked at her, looked at the pipe, remembered what Rodney had done.

"Gimme." John slurred reaching for the pipe.

_**…diwedd… **_


	2. Chapter 2

**aizjanika**'sstory request

_pairing:_ McKay-Sheppard  
_what you want to happen:_ I'm easy. They have an intense argument and then kiss & make up. ;-)  
_word or phrase you would like one of the characters to say:_ "I've got a big one!"  
_rating:_ PG-13?

**Pier**

"I've got a big one!" Ford cried triumphantly, pulling on his fishing rod and reeling in fast.

"Already!" John gaped, they hadn't even been fishing for and hour and already Ford had caught two of Atlantis's version of a halibut. Ford grinned and John sighed and started to sulk, much to Ford's amusement, and John made a mental note never to go fishing with his second again. He realized he'd never live it down if he didn't catch a fish today, besides this had been his idea, he should be catching the fish anyway, never mind that he'd never been fishing before in his life. General O'Neill had sent fishing gear along for the expedition on their days off, something about there having to be water in Atlantis and that it was the greatest past time ever, of course that had been counter by Dr. Jackson's 'you've never caught a fish in your life, Jack' John was really beginning to wonder. They both turned when they heard to doors to the pier swish open and Rodney stormed out.

"You are an idiot! A self-centered, over-grown brat! Why your in charge of anything is beyond me, you incompetent jackass! All you ever do is run around shooting things or sleeping with them! I can't believe you! You always touch things when I tell you not to! You nearly destroy Atlantis at least once a day and then you go and make your self the hero! Its pathetic! Your pathetic! You can't even comb your hair!" Rodney turned and stalked back inside before either of them could stop him or say anything at all. They stared at the doors for several minutes after they'd closed and then turned to each other.

"Sir…?"

"I have no idea!"

**Lab**

John ducked into the lab occupied by Rodney and Zelenka. The Czech scientist looked up as he entered, shook his head in warning, and beat a hasty retreat.

"Rodney?" John looked at the Canadian. He was sitting at his laptop. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, major, everything is fucking fine! How the hell are you?" he snapped sarcastically.

"What the hell is your problem, McKay?" John snapped, the scientist glared at him.

"Why don't you go mind your own damn business, jerk off!" John gapped, Rodney might insult him on a regular bases but he never meant it, at least he hoped he didn't, this he meant.

"What the hell was that for?" John snarled, slamming Rodney's laptop shut and gaining the scientists complete attention. Rodney's eyes narrowed.

"Don't. Touch. My. Laptop." He growled, John's eyes narrowed.

"I can touch whatever the hell I like!" Rodney shoved him. John shoved back and pretty soon things were flying. The first was a pen thrown by Rodney, John retaliated by throwing a note pad, which was followed by an MRE, then a coffee mug, when Rodney grabbed the dictionary John beat a hasty retreat.

**Mess**

John dropped down next to Bates. Elizabeth, Teyla, Carson, Zelenka, Stackhouse, Ford, and Kavanaugh were seated around the table.

"Hey, do any of you know why Rodney's acting so weird?" he asked taking a sip of what past for coffee on Atlantis.

"Major look around." Kavanaugh snapped, John raised an eyebrow but obliged and glanced around the room. It clicked.

"Why are all the scientists here? Did Rodney start giving lunch breaks?" he joked.

"No." Kavanaugh growled.

"Dr. McKay ahs kicked them all out of the lab," Teyla explained.

"Even me!" Zelenka snapped. John raised an eyebrow, until the Czech scientist had come to Atlantis and started working for McKay he hadn't had an ego at all, but the immunity he enjoyed from Rodney when he was angry, Zelenka was the only one who could get within several feet of him during one of his moods, because even though Rodney couldn't' t remember his name, something John was pretty sure he was faking, Rodney never actually yelled at the Czech.

"Why?"

"Because he's in bad mood." Grodin answered joining them, "Half his staff left crying."

"Geez. Why's he so ticked off?" We had an argument earlier, but he was already pissed before that."

"How pissed?" Stackhouse asked.

"He was throwing things at me, I left when he grabbed the dictionary." He frowned when Elizabeth gave him a hard look and turned to Ford for help.

"Sir, do you remember a few days ago when we were, uh," he glanced at Kavanaugh, "talking about what someone said about McKay and you impersonated him?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I think McKay saw us."

"Oh…" John paled, then paused. "This is my fault isn't it?"

"John." Elizabeth's tone was like a mother's when she scolded her child.

"he he," he laughed nervously, "I'll go make it better." He dashed off.

**Lab**

John stormed into Rodney's lab.

"What the hell is your problem? You know-"

"My problem? You're the jackass who goes around talking about people behind their backs and then pretends to like them when their around!"

"I wasn't pretending!" John flushed at the accusation.

"Ha! You're a player Major Sheppard!"

"No, I'm not! And since when is it Major Sheppard? I though we were past that?"

"Like hell we are! We would have been if you-"

"I wasn't!"

"Way past that!"

"Hun!" John did a double take.

"But you had t go and be a-"

"How far past it!"

"We could have been lovers by now, you moron!" John's eyes bugged out of his head.

"Lo-lovers!"

"But no! You had to go and ruin it!"

"Rodney do you have any idea what actually happened that day?"

"I've got a big one!" Rodney roared.

"Yeah, well it's a wrong one bug one!" John roared back. "I was imitating Kavanaugh and what he'd said earlier."

"Hun." Rodney froze. "What?" John released a deep breath and sighed.

"I said, that wasn't me who said that. It was Kavanaugh I was imitating him."

"Oh."

"Rodney?"

"Yes," he looked wary.

"What you said about…"

"About what?"

"Us…being lovers…"

"What about it?" Rodney rolled his eyes.

"Were you serious?"

"Yes I was serious, why would I say it if I wasn't serious."

"Oh so then…can we kiss and make up?" John asked nervously, Rodney was on him almost before he finished talking.

_…diwedd…_


	3. Chapter 3

**gaiaanarchy**'s story request

Pairing (Can there be two?): Elizabeth/Teyla and McShep

Happenings: Elizabeth and Teyla come out about their relationship. That makes John and Rodney reconsider keeping theirs a secret.

Line: "If Teyla and Elizabeth jumped off a cliff, does that mean you would too?" "If it was a good cliff."

**Here we go…**

"Ladies and gentlemen Teyla and I have an announcement to make." Elizabeth smiled as she stood on top of one of the mess hall tables. "We are involved romantically." She smiled and the room fell into stunned silence, before cheering erupted among congratulations. Rodney and John sat staring at the two women, their faces steadily turning redder. After the initial enthusiasm wore down everyone started discussing the hints of the relationship between the two women, what they'd seen and not seen. Rodney and John just sat there, and then McKay muttered something about having something to do in the lab when he saw the look of longing on John's face as he watched Teyla and Elizabeth. Rodney knew John hated the secrecy of heir relationship, but it was necessary for him and his peace of mind to at least have the illusion of secrecy. He headed quickly down to his labs. John, no doubt would be down here as soon as he could sneak away and then they'd get into one of their arguments that would end with them not talking for several days and then having amazing, great, beautiful make up sex. He sighed the argument might be worth it if he took that into account, but then sex with John was always great and there was no point in hurting each other's feelings. Rodney sighed and sipped his coffee and resolved not to get into an argument with John over the situation. Which flew right out the window when John stormed in and said he wanted to go public, to which Rodney said no and everything went from there, like it usually did.

"Why not! There's nothing wrong with us begin together McKay!" John ragged.

"I don't like going around and announcing my relationships, Major." Rodney growled and went back to his laptop.

"I don't want to hide, Rodney."

"We aren't hiding Major."

"Then what the fuck are we doing! Cause it seems like hiding to me!"

"Well we sure as hell aren't going to go around telling everyone we're involved!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's like bragging!"

"Since when do you have a problem bragging about something!" John snapped sarcastically, Rodney glared at him, hurt by the remark.

"Is there something you wanted Major? I'm busy." He turned back to his laptop.

"I'm not leaving McKay until you agree." John growled right back.

Several hours later

"I'll blow you." John offered. Rodney rolled his eyes.

"No."

"Come on, anything you want please?"

"No major, I'm not going to announce our relationship for sexual favors I can get anyway with less effort."

"What the heck does that mean?"

"If Teyla and Elizabeth jumped off a cliff, does that mean you would too?"

"If it was a good cliff." Rodney looked up and saw the major was serious. Muttering something about idiot soldiers he left for coffee leaving John staring after him a vice closing over his heart. Would Rodney ever be willing to admit they were together? The way things were going he doubted it. Why did Rodney want to hide? Everyone on Atlantis, heck everyone within the rest of the Stargate program wouldn't have a problem with it, hell there were plenty of gay couples, both sexes within the program. He sighed and left the lab, he felt like crying. Was Rodney ashamed of being with him? Was that why he didn't want to tell anyone? He looked up as he heard people approaching and say Teyla and Weir walking toward him holding hands. He felt tears well up and pushed them down as the two women walked over.

"Hello, John….are you alright?" Damn women's intuition.

"Yeah, fine." He sniffed, feeling utterly pathetic; no wonder Rodney didn't want any one to know.

"Are you sure?" Weir pushed.

"Is it about Dr. McKay?" Teyla asked. Jon gapped, then tried to cover.

"NO! No, why would it be about McKay, he's just a stupid scientist who DOESN'T WANT TO ADMIT WERE TOGETHER!" He froze when he realized what he'd said. Then paled, and looked at the two women.

"What are you talking about major, everyone knew about you and Rodney, that's what gave me and Teyla the courage to come out with ours." John sputtered.

"How did you two..?"

"Dr. McKay told us after we asked him to cover for us once."' Teyla explained. John swayed, they'd all known, all along, all those long hours trying to get McKay to agree to come out, all along… he was going to kill McKay, after he kissed him of course.

_…diwedd… _


	4. Chapter 4

**hydram83**'s story request

Pairing: Rodney/Carson  
What Happens: Carson gets conned into wearing a kilt somehow.  
Word or Phrase: "Is it true what they say about Scots and kilts?"  
Rating: Don't care, though the more its racy the better. :D

This is for you hon!

**Medical Bay**

"Your just scared!"

"I'm not bloody scared Rodney! I'm not wearing a kilt! And that's finale."

"I supposed that's to be expected." Rodney sighed as Carson turned to leave. "After all not every Scot can wear a kilt." Carson froze, twitched, and turned. Rodney was admiring his nails.

"And what, lover, exactly does that mean?"

"Well, you know that whole thing about shoe size coinciding with dick size; well I've heard the same thing about kilts…" Rodney shrugged as if it were nothing. Carson gapped.

"Are you saying I'm not 'big' enough to wear a kilt?" He ragged.

"Of course not Carson!" Rodney pretended to look insulted. "When have I ever complained about your size? I'm just saying that other people have a certain…physical build that just makes them look better in a kilt." Carson twitched.

"And your saying I don't have this physical build?"

"Well, Carson lets face it, neither of us are athletes." Rodney pointed out.

"I look damn good in a kilt!" Carson roared and then froze when he saw the smug smile on Rodney's face.

"Prove it."

**Hallway, next day**

Carson groaned, he couldn't believe he'd agreed to wear a kilt, even if it was just for one day. Damn Rodney and his brilliant, sadistic mind. And damn his pride for making him agree. The least Rodney could have done was let him wear it on his day off, granted he probably wouldn't have left their room, but no it had to be today. He'd had training with Teyla that morning. That had been hilarious…for everyone else. Contrary to popular belief Scots could not do everything in kilts, something's you needed pants for, stick fighting with tough alien lasses included. After that Bates's team had gotten hurt off world. Try explaining a kilt to an alien culture! They'd been laughing almost as hard as Bates's team, though the security chief had kept a straight face, Carson had sworn never to make the man go through another physical in his life. Not to mention that the world they'd been on was rocky and they'd had to climb a very steep hill to get to the team. Carson crossed rock climbing off as a hobby or a skill. Then as soon as he'd finished taking care of them someone else had hurt themselves on the **_other_** side of the city. The other side! He' had to run across a very **_large_** city in a skirt only to have his patient faint from laughter at the sight of his doctor in a kilt. He'd stopped laughing of course, after Carson had threatened to withhold the pain killers. Not to mention that every bloody women he knew was either cat calling at him or whistling or making a remark about his ass. It was starting to scare him. Rodney was going to pay for this dearly, he swore as he made his way to the mess hall.

"Dr. Beckett?" Carson turned to see several female marines. "Is everything okay, you were muttering?"

"Yes, lass, everything is fine. Just planning some revenge on my Rodney." He sighed, then backed up slightly at the glint that suddenly appeared in their eyes.

"I'd love to see Dr. McKay in a kilt." One grinned.

"Only if he had the day off." Another one murmured, licking her lips. Carson gapped at them in shock and left quickly when their discussion turned to less clothing oriented ideas. Dashing into the mess hall, he spotted Sheppard and the others and joined them.

"Geez, Carson, bad day?" Sheppard asked with a grin. Carson glared at him.

"You have no idea!"

"Dr. Beckett?" the entire table turned to see several female scientists.

"Yes?" he asked warily.

"Is it true what they say about Scots and kilts?" Carson's jaw dropped, along with most of the tables.

"What?"

"Is it true what Dr. McKay said?" She repeated.

"What Rodney said?" Carson repeated in shock. "What did he say?"

"That its true, the whole size thing…"she trailed off as Carson stared at her in horror and the rest of the table burst into hysterical laughter. Carson muttered something about checking supplies and raced out, heading directly to medical. He wasn't moving fast enough apparently, because several people grabbed his as before he got there and he was pretty sure some of them were going to leave bruises. In his office Carson locked the door and sighed in relief, then jumped out of his skin when someone cleared their throat behind him. He turned to find Rodney smiling.

"I'll kill you!" Carson growled advancing on the scientist.

"No you won't." Rodney sing-songed smugly.

"Yes. I will."

"No, because if you try I'll give away your little hiding place." Carson twitched, then growled and dropped his hands, Rodney was right. He glared at the Canadian and stalked over to his chair.

"This is revenge for the picture isn't it?" he asked a while later.

"Just because you posted a picture of me in nothing but towel all over Atlantis doesn't mean I felt the need to stoup to that level." Rodney replied innocently. Carson sighed and made another mental note never to play a joke on a Canadian, especially one as smart as Rodney. They sat in silence for a while before Carson realized Rodney was staring at him.

"What?"

"I like the kilt."

"Thanks" Carson said dryly.

"No, I **_really_** like the kilt." Rodney repeated getting up and walking over to him.

"Oh…OOOHHHH!" Carson moaned when Rodney rubbed him through the fabric and he arched off the chair.

"I really, _really_, **_really_**, like the kilt."

_**Weir's Office, next day**_

"Rodney, you rule!" Simpson grinned.

"You're an angel Dr. McKay." Heightmyere beamed holding a picture of Carson in his kilt. Half the female population of Atlantis had been sending him thank you notes for the past week for getting Carson to wear the kilt. Even Elizabeth and Teyla, whose idea the whole thing had been, were grinning like idiots. Rodney just smiled.

_…diwedd…_


	5. Chapter 5

**kmanderson**'s story request

pairing: McShep  
what you want to happen: John teaches Rodney things about guns.  
word or phrase you would like one of the characters to say: some variation on "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"  
rating: the pr0nier the better!

"Rodney?" John's voice broke as Rodney trailed the butt of the gun up his hip. "I though I was supposed to be teaching you how to use a gun?" he gasped.

"I know how to**_ use_** a gun, major." Rodney grinned.

"Fuck, yes." Sheppard gritted his teeth.

"Gee major, is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" He whimpered when McKay pressed it against his erection through his pants.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"What else you know about guns?" Sheppard smirked. Rodney arched an eyebrow.

"Well, I know how to do this." He pressed the butt of the gun harder against his erection and rubbed it up and down. Sheppard's head snapped back and he gave a strangled cry. "Is there something else I should know?"

"Yes," John gritted his teeth. "How to shot it." Rodney smiled smugly and John's heart skipped a beat.

"I know how to shot a gun major." Rodney pressed the tip against his hole, John's hips arched away from the wall. "You aim and cock," he cocked the gun.

"Ro-Rodney?"

"and then your fire." He pulled the trigger, John jumped but the gun was empty. The jump the gun made when it was fired pressed it further against his hole. John whimpered again.

"Rodney…."

"Geez, who knew you had a kink about guns?" Rodney muttered, leaning back to study the gun pressed between John's open legs. Fuck, John looked hot, pressed against the wall his legs spread wide, his erection straining against his pants. Rodney gave low whistle. "You look hot major." He grinned.

"This was not the lesson plan McKay." John growled, shifting against the gun. Rodney rolled his eyes.

"Of course it wasn't, I don't think you military are creative enough to think up something like this."

"We are too! Besides this is more demented then creative."

"So the military's demented now are they?"

"That's not what I said!" John growled.

"Yes it is." Rodney replied innocently. "You said you were and then said it was demented, therefore the military is demented." John glared at him, Rodney smirked. Then leaned in and licked a trail of fire up John's neck. John angled his head to give him better access.

"You need to learn this, McKay." John insisted, Rodney pulled back, John mentally groaned at the lose of contact.

"Are you really complaining? Rodney asked incredulously. John frowned when Rodney back away.

"Rodney where are you going?"

"Well, you're complaining so I'm assuming you don't want to do this."

"Rodney, this is not a gun." John motioned to erection and Rodney smirked. John got a queasy feeling in his stomach when Rodney did that. "Rodney?"

"Strip." John started at him.

"What?"

"Strip." Rodney repeated, motioning to his cloths. John raised an eyebrow and did as Rodney said and striped. Rodney licked his lips as John's cloths came off. God, those abs, and thighs, that cock, fuck it was no wonder John was so popular with the ladies. Rodney groaned as John bent to undo his boot laces and unzipped his pants. When he straightened Rodney was on him before he could take a breath, his tongue down John's throat and his fist wrapped around his cock. John moaned as best he could with Rodney's tongue shoved down his throat and thrust against his hand. He slid one of his hands between them and pumped Rodney's erection. The scientist moaned and moved so their cocks were aligned and started thrusting. John nearly screamed from the please and his head snapped back against the wall. Rodney buried his face in John's neck and bit down, John let out a strangled cry and his hand fell from Rodney's cock to grip his shoulders, kneading the flesh as Rodney pressed him into the wall and John started seeing stars from it all.

"Remind me to teach about guns again sometime." John whispered breathlessly as he came, Rodney grinned.

_…diwedd… _


	6. Chapter 6

This was an idea posted by **koshi700**

what if John Sheppard was drunk, very very drunk, and Rodney was trying to get him home and into bed. Of course John is being stubborn likes drunk ppl can be. John finally agrees to go home if Rodney will have sex with him. Thinking that because John is drunk he doesn't mean it, Rodney agrees. When they get home, John tries to start something, but then promptly passes out. Roney is relieved and, after putting John to bed, leaves. Now, when John wakes up, he remembers Rodney's promise and decides to hold him to it.

**Here we go….**

"Major?" Rodney asked, approaching the swaying major hesitantly. John spun around.

"Rodney!" he cried out cheerfully and then promptly glomped him, McKay staggered under the man's weight. Whoa, he weighed a lot.

"Major, I think you need to get home and get into bed." Rodney counseled.

"NO!" John jumped back. "Mm haven fun!" he slurred and fell backwards.

"Major!" Rodney grabbed him before he hit the floor. "That's it! I'm taking you home!"

"NNNNOOOO!" Rodney grimaced. John pulled away. "You can't make me!" Rodney rolled his eyes.

"For the love of god major, grow up and lets go."

"No!" John ducked away when Rodney tried to grab him.

"Come on major, please! Some of us actually want to go home and sleep." Rodney snapped and begged at the same time, something only he could do. John eyed him from across the table.

"You gotta gimme somin." John slurred, still looking wary. Rodney sighed and shook his head.

"What?"

"You." Rodney jaw dropped.

"What?"

"You." John gave him a lecherous grin. Rodney sputtered. He's drunk he doesn't actually mean it, Rodney told himself, trying to calm his body down.

"Uh, Major…"

"Well, take it ur leave it MmKay." John swayed again.

"Okay! Okay I agree!" Rodney cried and reached for him before he fell and hit his head on the edge of the table. John threw an arm over his shoulder and grinned, Rodney rolled his eyes and helped him out the door. A half an hour later he dropped John on his bed, only to be pulled down with the drunk major, who quickly rolled on top of him.

"Ma-major?" Rodney squeaked when John started mouthing his neck.

"MmKay." John slurred against his neck.

"Major?" Now Rodney was worried, John was stone drunk and he was likely going to regret everything he did, if he remembered it. "John." His voice cracked, the major was kissing a trail of fire down his neck, moving his shirt aside…and then nothing. Rodney blinked and looked down, well tried to, he wrenched his neck in the attempt. He pushed the major gently to the side and sat up. Just as he had suspected, John had passed out. Rodney let out a breath of relief. Then stood, he stared down at the Air Force major for a while before sighing and giving into his conscience and crush and stared pulling off John's boots. Once he'd finished with those he tugged off the major's pants, studiously avoiding looking at the major's crotch. Once the pants were gone he went to work on his shirt and by the time the major was safely tucked in Rodney was sporting a very painful erection, he locked the door when he left.

**Next Day**

John groaned and rolled over onto his back. His head was throbbing and he swore never to drink again. He glanced at his alarm clock, noon. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what had happened the night before. Flashes of Ford, Teyla, some Athosian beer, McKay, Zelenk-McKay! He concentrated, what had McKay been doing at their party, he'd said he wasn't coming. Then he remembered. Oh god, he'd asked McKay to have sex….and McKay had agreed, which was probably because John was drunk, but then again, McKay was sporting a pretty impressive erection when he'd first mentioned them sleeping together...so maybe it wasn't because he was drunk, but then again, he didn't feel like he'd been fucked through the mattress like he dreamed about with McKay. He sighed, god damn it, he'd probably screwed up any chance he had with McKay. He laid in bed for another few minutes before jumping up, rushing through his shower, grabbed random cloths and rushed out the door.

**One hour later**

John banged on the door to McKay's apartment and was finally, after fifteen minutes, greeted by the sleepy, rumpled astrophysicist himself. McKay's eyes widened comically when he finally registered it was the major at his door.

"Major? What wrong?"

"Nothing, can I come in?" McKay hesitated then finally moved to let him pass. "Thanks, I wanted to talk about last night." McKay paled and backed up.

"Nothing happened, Major."

"I know that's what I'm here about?"

"Hun…" McKay had lost total track of where the conversation was going.

"You said you'd sleep with me if I want home."

"Um…yes?" McKay was confused, very confused.

"Well, I'm here." John announced.

"Hun?" McKay's eyes bugged out of his head as he realized what John was saying. "Wait are you still drunk?"

"No." John chucked off his shirt and McKay's jaw dropped.

"Wa-wait a second, Major." John froze, his eyes widening.

"Rodney, oh god I'm sorry, last night…I though you…" John trailed off, staring to panic and grabbed for his shirt. Wow, he'd totally read McKay wrong. McKay realizing the major's train of thought grabbed for him and sent them both tumbling to the floor. "Rodney?" John's eyes were wide with panic.

"Relax, Major, I'm not going to hurt you. I just realized something." He sighed, feeling John relax and taking notice of the major's erection.

"What?" John's voice cracked.

"You feel the same way I do." John sighed, his arms going around Rodney.

"I do."

"Good." McKay yawned.

"Hey, McKay?"

"Hmm?"

"Wanna…McKay?" Rodney was drifting off.

"I was up all last night because of you major, you aren't getting any until I get some sleep, then I'll make you scream and fuck you through the mattress."

_…diwedd… _


	7. Chapter 7

**Lovellama**'s story request

I'm posting this from Marag's friends list, you can ask her if I'm ok. I've got references... ;)

I'd like to see a McShep where Rodney asks Sheppard why he won't join the Atlantis Mensa club (as an honorary member). You can make it as smutty as you'd like. :D

**Here we go…**

"Major Sheppard!" John paused mid-step and turned as someone called his name. He saw Rodney rushing forward and groaned. He was wearing a blue shirt with 'MENSA' on the front. He winced as McKay slid to a stop in front of him, ever since he'd found out John had passed the MENSA test he wouldn't leave the man alone about joining the Atlantis MENSA group, he'd even offered to make him an honorary member. "Major gasp Sheppard."

"Geez, McKay your really out of shape." He remarked, Rodney glared at him.

"MENSA meeting tonight." John raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you telling me? I told you I'm not joining."

"Please, I'll make it worth your while. You can be an honorary member, I'm the only other one."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Just tonight, Major, just this once." Rodney pleaded. John frowned he hated when Rodney did that, he almost always gave in, alright so he always gave in, but that wasn't the point. He bit his lip, he was going to regret this.

"Alright, but just this once." But McKay was already gone and several people were giving him strange looks for talking to nothing. He sighed and turned and continued on his way, he was already beginning to regret this.

**That Night Rec. Room**

"Major Sheppard what took you so long?" McKay demanded when he walked into the rec. room that night. Kavanaugh, Zelenka, and several other scientists were seated around a round table, there were glasses of god-new-what in front of each of them and Kavanaugh was shuffling a deck of cards.

"This is what you do?" he asked sitting down at the only empty spot. "Play cards."

"What did you think we were doing Major?" Rodney snorted

"Well, I didn't think you were playing cards." He muttered defensively and picked up his hand. Full house, he smirked mentally outwardly keeping his face calm, three eights and two kings. He looked around the table, their scientists faces went from very pleased to practically groaning. None of them had a poker face.

Rodney smirked at his hand, royal flush, this game was his.

Zelenka pursed his lips as he stared at his hand, two pair, two threes and two fives.

Kavanaugh smiled as he checked his hand, three of a kind, three aces.

John smirked.

Rodney smirked.

This is too easy.- they both thought.

"Alright, kitty." Rodney announced. Everyone tossed in one chip

"Okay, who wants what?" Kavanaugh asked.

"One." Zelenka muttered pushing his glasses up.

"None." Rodney said taking a sip of his drink.

"None." John echoed studying his hand. he was so engrossed in what he was doing, he nearly went through the roof when a hand suddenly appeared on his thigh.

"Three." Simpson tossed her cards down, and as Kavanaugh handed her her replacements the hand slid up to his buckle and undid it with def skill. His jaw dropped and he barely managed to snap it shut in time for no none to see when the hand slid down his boxers and wrapped around his cock, which was suddenly very hard. The wrist twisted slightly nearly unseating him and he bit his lip to cover his moan. They were placing bets and he tossed in chips without really looking at what he was doing. The hand was moving up and down, tight and twisting and only John years of military training kept him from squirming and whimpering, the same training that was going to go right out the window in a few seconds, then it was gone and John was nearly as surprised as when it first appeared. He frowned and glanced around the table, wondering who it had been. All of them were within reach, which was a scary thought, a very scary thought.

"Nothing." One of the scientists tossed down her hand.

"Me either." Another echoed, repeating her motion. Some of the others had a pair but that was it. It was down to him, McKay, Zelenka, and Kavanaugh.

"Two pair." Zelenka laid his hand out.

"Three of a kind." Kavanaugh smirked, the Czech rolled his eyes. John smiled and put the mysterious hand out of mind for a moment.

"Full house." He dropped his cards and leaned back, lacing his fingers behind his head, a smirk glued onto his face. It faltered when he saw the calm expression on Rodney's face. The scientist laid his hand down and John gapped, so much for geeks not having poker faces, while the rest of the table groaned.

"Royal Flush."

"Again?" Zelenka muttered, fixing his glasses. Kavanaugh sputtered.

" He wins every night." Simpson muttered standing up the others followed suit. As he left Rodney fell into step next to John.

"So did you have fun?" he asked casually.

"It was alright, I never figured you guys were playing cards."

"Well, you were late you missed everything else." Rodney shrugged.

"I suppose it wasn't that bad." John's mind was back on the hand and he suddenly realized he was still hard. He prayed no one would notice.

"Don't worry major, next time it will be more scintillating." Rodney winked and disappeared down the hall leaving John staring at his back.

_…diwedd… _


	8. Chapter 8

Rodney/Carson  
not quite sex  
"Are you sure?"  
R

This drabble is for **mice1900**

**Medical Bay 5:30**

Carson sighed and glanced up at the clock on the wall. 5:30 pm. It was about time to cut out and get dinner and Rodney still hadn't shown up. Usually he'd have been in several times already, but he hadn't been in once today and Carson was worried and more then a little depressed. Somehow, and he really, _really_, didn't know how or why for that matter, his friendship with Rodney had turned into something else, well on his side at least it had. He practically counted down the minutes to when he and Rodney were supposed to get together for a chess game or movie, more often or not Rodney was late or forgot completely, which _really_ didn't help with his confidence. He had no idea how Rodney felt and he was _way_ to afraid to ask. He sighed, turned off his private laptop, and glanced at the clock again. 5:42. He glanced at the door and debated whether or not to wait a little longer, his stomach growled and he sighed heading for the door. There was no use starving himself.

**Medical Bay 6:00**

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" Carson flew backwards and he was pretty sure had heart attack at the same time when Rodney's voice at full volume greeted his return to the Medical Bay.

"What's wrong?" He asked automatically, looking Rodney over and seeing nothing, started glancing around the room to see if Rodney had brought Major Sheppard or someone else in. "Who's hurt?" he asked looking confused and turning back to an irate Rodney.

"ME! You idiot! I'm hurt!" Carson raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"You look fine."

"Haven't you ever heard 'looks can be deceiving'? Or 'never judge a book by its cover'."

"I don't really think those apply to this type of situation." Carson said dryly reaching for his stethoscope.

"Carson!" he sighed and turned back around.

"Alright, what is it this time?" he staunchly told himself he was not dragging this out because he like having Rodney's attention.

"My finger is falling off!"

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"Its falling off! Look!" Rodney thrust his hand toward him, nearly nailing him in the nose. Carson glanced at his hand.

"Rodney…"

"Well, how bad is it? Can you sew it back on?"

"Rodney, its nothing."

"What do you mean it's nothing? I'm bleeding to death! If I die it's going to be your fault!" Rodney ragged.

"Rodney…" Carson sighed, sometimes he thought he was way out of his league trying to talk with Rodney, let alone keep him healthy or keep up with him. If only he'd turn that energy toward more enjoyable past times…

"Carson!" Rodney snapping brought him back to the present.

"What?"

"What do you mean what? I'm dying and your off in la la land! How the hell did you get this job anyway?"

"Rodney…" he sighed, he seemed to be doing a lot of that today.

"Do something!" Rodney pleaded.

"Rodney…" and a lot of that to.

"Its going to fall off! I can't work with only nine fingers!"

"Alright let me see it again." Rodney held out his hand and Carson studied it thoroughly. Rodney started to fidget in the suspense.

"……It's a paper cut." Carson announced dryly letting go of Rodney's hand. Rodney stared at him in disbelief and cradled his hand to his chest.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Is it infected?"

"No"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Is it going to fall off?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm bloody sure!" Carson lost it, causing Rodney to jump backward, his eyes wide.

"Are you alright Carson?" Rodney asked tentively. "Maybe you should go see Heightmyere?" Carson twitched and nearly tore his stethoscope in half.

"I WOULDN'T BE GOING OFF IF YOU'D STOP BEING CLUELESS ABOUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU AND YOU'D STOP BLOWING THINGS OUT OF PROPORTION AND NOT BELIEVING WHAT I TELL YOU!" Beckett froze as he realized what he'd just said and prayed he'd said it fast enough that Rodney hadn't caught it. But then again it was Rodney and he was probably speaking his language when he yelled like that so he wasn't really surprised to see Rodney gapping at him in shock, his arms hanging at his side.

"What?" Carson was pretty sure he'd have won that bet between Ford and Sheppard if he could prove he'd actually made Rodney speechless.

"Uh…Ur…um…nothing!" He squeaked and made a dash for the door. Rodney grabbed him, however, before he could reach it.

"Wait, what did you say?" Rodney was looking at him with wide eyes and he looked…almost nervous. Carson frowned, why would Rodney be nervous?

"I said you have no idea how I feel about you." Pause.

"You like me!" Rodney exclaimed.

"NO! For all you know I hate you!" Carson tried to cover up, glancing around franticly for an exit. Running would be hard to do he realized with Rodney holding his arm in a death grip.

"You do!" Rodney grinned suddenly and Carson tried to back up. "Why didn't you tell me?" Rodney looked perplexed.

"I didn't know if you felt the same." Carson sputtered. "And you were always late to our wee get togethers."

"Oh…well, yeah that's a pretty good reason, I guess."

"You guess!" Carson sputtered, what the hell was going on?

"Well, if you had reminded me more I would have forgotten less!" Rodney argued, Carson rolled his eyes.

"Rodney, even if I reminded you every five minutes you-" the rest of Carson's words were muffled by Rodney's mouth. He blinked for a moment making sure it was actually happening before letting himself fall into the kiss. Rodney's arms wrapped around him and the scientist back him up into the wall, pinning him there. Carson gripped his shoulders and hung on for dear life as Rodney's talented tongue made his knees go weak. He felt Rodney's length hard against his thigh and rubbed. Rodney groaned and moved to align their cocks. Carson gasped at the friction and started mentally cursing who ever created button up pants and cloths in general. Rodney pulled back for air and Carson nipped his neck. Rodney moaned and tilted his head to give him better access as he started thrusting. Carson stopped sucking his neck and buried his face there instead as he moaned. God that felt good! Rodney closed his eyes, bringing one hand up into Carson's hair, tilting the doctor's head back for a kiss. Carson dropped his hands and gripped Rodney's ass kneading the taunt flesh. Right as he was about to come in his pants Elizabeth walked in.

"Car…son…?" She stopped dead when see saw them up against the wall. "Uh." Rodney turned his head slowly, his eyes wide. Elizabeth grinned and backed out. "I'll leave the two of you alone for now." They turned back to each other after hearing her footsteps retreating.

_…diwedd…_


	9. Chapter 9

Hey, this is the drabble fic **neridowell** requested. Here's to you, hon! Tell me what you think.

Request :

Pairing: Ford/Zelenka (I haven't seen one of these yet. It could be fun!)  
To happen: Ford is longing for oranges. (...;)  
Word or Phrase: Something in Czech. Anything, really. As long as it's in Czech.  
Rating: N. For Nevermind what it's rated! (In other words, I really don't care v)

**Lab**

Ford sighed and wandered down to the labs. It was his day off and he had nothing to do. Sheppard was off with McKay, Beckett was with Bates, and Teyla and Elizabeth had disappeared, to top it all off he was bored out of his mind and he'd already seen every movie anyone had brought. He wandered into Zelenka's lab. The Czech was muttering to himself and sounded irritated. Ford eyed the lab, it was empty except for the angry scientist and Ford was tempted to turn and run, except he liked Zelenka, the man was brilliant but he didn't brag, he was nice too and he had an endless amount of patience, plus Ford had a bit of a crush on the guy.

"Dr. Zelenka?" the scientist looked up, a frown on his normally smiling face.

"Yes?" He asked tightly.

"Uh, is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine!" he was starting to sound like McKay.

"Are you sure, cause-"

"Yes I man sure! Now leave!" Zelenka snapped but Ford was no longer listening to him. He was staring at Zelenka's counter top. Zelenka frowned when Ford didn't respond and followed his gaze. He was starring at Zelenka's oranges. "Hey, Lt!" Ford's gaze snapped back to the angry scientist and willed his mouth to stop watering.

"Yes?"

"Out!" Zelenka roared.

"Are you sure everything's okay, Doc?"

"Yes!" Ford frowned, he didn't believe a word the man was saying and sat down on one of the stools. Zelenka glared at him, but when it was obvious Ford wasn't going anywhere he went back to work. Ford stared at the oranges.

"You know, my grandparents and I used to sit on the porch at night and eat oranges and watch the sunset. My grandma would tell stories, or I'd tell them how my day was and they'd give me advice. My grandpa would always play his guitar, he was good too, really good. Sometimes we'd just joke around or just sit quietly. But we always had oranges. My grandpa could peel one and have the whole peel still in one piece and no body could peel faster or better then my grandma, she would eat the peel to…" he trailed off and then finally stopped when he saw Zelenka twitching. "Sorry."

"AH! What are you omluvit se? You didn't do cokoliv! Pevně uchopit se!" Ford stared at him wide eyed and in shock, not understanding a word of what the Czech had just yelled at him. He didn't move when Rodney walked in.

Rodney eyed the stunned Ford. "What the hell did you do to him?" Rodney turned to Zelenka who glared.

"I jekot at him! He was mluveni!" Rodney rolled his eyes completely unfazed by the irate Czech. Ford blinked.

"Doesn't he scare you?"

"No." Rodney snorted, Ford stared at him in awe. He was pretty sure Zelenka could have scared the entire wraith army at the moment, though he had a feeling Rodney could do worse. "Its just pent sexual frustration." Ford turned bright red and Zelenka started yelling again. Rodney rolled his eyes and leaned over and whispered something in Zelenka's ear that made the Czech scientist stop yelling. After Rodney left Ford turned to Zelenka.

"What did he say?" Zelenka didn't answer, just studied Ford thoughtfully. Ford swallowed, the look Zelenka was giving him was making him nervous. It felt like the man could see right through him.

"Do you like pomeranče, Lt?"

"Um, if you mean oranges, then yes I do."

"Really…" okay, now Zelenka was starting to scare him.

"Would you like one?" Zelenka asked innocently. Ford swallowed, Zelenka was really, **_really_**, scaring him and he was only a few feet away from the door, he could make it before the scientist caught him, but then he looked at the oranges and knew he was gone.

"Yes." Zelenka nodded and motioned to the empty counter top.

"Sit." Ford raised an eyebrow, but did as he was told. "Now take off your pistol holster and lift up your shirt, undo your belt and lie back." Ford couldn't have been more surprised if the man had told him to strip and get it on with McKay, but Zelenka had started peeling an orange and he really, **_really_** wanted one so he did what he was told. "Close your eyes." Ford did and the next thing he felt was Zelenka's mouth on his nipple.

"Fuck!" he arched up in shock and surprised but before he could open his eyes Zelenka blindfolded him. Ford moaned in pleasure and shock when he the orange slice in Zelenka's mouth on his nipple, rubbing. "Uhng!" Zelenka moved to the other nipple and Ford's fingers scrabbled against the smooth surface of the table, Zelenka spread his legs wide and undid Ford's zipper. Ford whimpered when Zelenka started kissing and dragging the orange slice down his chest, played around Ford's belly button, dipping the slice in and out. God! He'd never thought oranges and Czech scientists could be this hot, crush or not, his erection was straining against his boxers. "AH!" Ford nearly screamed when Zelenka deep throated him out of the blue. His arms flailed and his legs strained as he tried to get some purchase, he gave up and just moaned when Zelenka started sucking. Zelenka's mouth was warm, and wet and hot and the orange slice was cool and felt like skin and the sensation of the two was killing him, not to mention the feeling of not being the only thing in Zelenka's mouth and the orange slice was rubbing up and down his cock, oh god! Ford let out a small scream when Zelenka put his mind to sucking Ford's brain out through his cock. He bucked up and came and Zelenka swallowed his cum and the orange with ease, licking him clean afterward, before standing back and letting Ford slid off the counter to his feet. Ford grabbed the counter the counter for support and tried to catch his breath. He'd never come that hard in his life. Zelenka just smiled.

"God, I'm never gonna look at oranges or Czechs scientists again with out getting hard again." He muttered Zelenka's smile widened.

_…diwedd…_

translations

oranges - pomeranče

yell - jekot

talking - mluvení

apologize for - omluvit se

anything – cokoliv

get a grip on - pevně uchopit

yourself - se


	10. Chapter 10

**probodie**'s request

How about...McKay/Grodin (i know, I know...but we can pretend, cant we?)  
What happens? McKay rescues Grodin just in the nick of time  
Word/Phrase - Well, slap my thigh and call me Katy.  
Rating - Hot/steamy/sexy/porny/whatever you want

**Jumper Bay**

Peter Grodin stood frozen in place, starring up in horror as the large vent came loose, the cables snapping one by one. He stood unable to move as his life flashed before him and the cable came down, barely registering the people yelling at him to move. He couldn't, his limbs were too heavy and time seemed to have slowed down as the vent fell the last few feet and then the next thing he felt, seconds before the vent hit him was an NFL linebacker slamming into his side and then landing on him as they hit the floor. The air rushed out of his lungs and he saw stars. The next thing he registered was the gray ceiling of the puddle jumper bay and someone rather heavy lying on top of his legs. He sighed and took a deep breath when the weight disappeared and Carson, Sheppard, and Elizabeth came into view.

"Peter?" Elizabeth asked, she looked worried.

"What happened?" he croaked.

"The cables snapped." Elizabeth explained as Carson took his pulse. He groaned as Sheppard and Carson helped him sit up.

"Who saved me?"

"Rodney." Elizabeth answered and pointed to the scientist who was sitting next to Peter's feet. Peter froze and gapped at the scientist who was rubbing his shoulder.

"What?" he asked indignantly.

"Uh thanks." Peter murmured, still in shock.

"Next time don't just stand there!" McKay snapped.

"I owe you one." He smiled, feeling slightly better. "What ever you want."

"Massage." Was Rodney's only response.

**McKay's quarters**

"Well, slap my thigh and call my Katy, its clean!" Peter exclaimed upon entering McKay's quarters. Rodney stared at him in abject horror.

"If you're going to talk like that, leave, I changed my mind!" Rodney snapped, Peter laughed.

"Ly down on your stomach and take off your shirt." Peter ordered, his massages were legendary on Atlantis. McKay was on the bed almost before he finished speaking and he toed off his shoes with a grin, pausing for a moment to admire McKay's back and shoulders.

"Some time soon would be nice." Rodney snapped from the bed and Peter shook his head in amusement as he straddled the other man, he didn't have the heart to be mad at McKay now, not after he saved his life. He dug his fingers in McKay's shoulder muscles.

"Bloody hell, you're tense. When was the last time you relaxed?"

"Earth." McKay muttered then moaned as Peter's fingers started rubbing circles into his skin. Rodney moaned, Peter grinned and started using his knuckles. Rodney's muffled 'oh god' made him smirk. His hands moved lower, kneading the muscles in Rodney's lower back.

**Several hours later**

Oh god….people were not supposed to be able to do that! Peter sprawled out next Rodney on the bed. Fuck, he was never underestimating the man again. Who new you could do that with your tongue! He hadn't but apparently Rodney had. Fuck, the man had nearly sucked his spine out through his dick, and then done it again and again and all Peter had been able to do was lay back and moan and beg for more. And Rodney had given it. God damn, his tongue, that had to be the most talented tongue in existence! No wonder the man had such a mouth on him and an ego. God, and then he'd made a point to tell Peter exactly what he was going to and then he'd done it. Bloody hell, he'd never been fucked through the bloody mattress before, but god he was never going to forget that feeling. McKay had a fucking amazing dick and feeling it pressed up inside him as far as it could go was heart stopping. But his tongue, that was the best part when he'd stuck it up inside…oh fuck he was getting hard just thinking about it.

"It's called rimming." Rodney murmured, lying next to him.

"Do it again." Peter begged breathlessly. Rodney grinned.

I know its short, if you want me to redo it let me know.

_…diwedd… _


	11. Chapter 11

**remey**'s request

pairing: Sheppard/McKay

what you want to happen: hmmm, not sure but a key phrase here is "it all started with the missing lube" and a puddlejumper. maybe one of them is stalking the other and gets drunk and proclaims their undying love to the other  
word or phrase you would like one of the characters to say: "Your drunk," "no i'm not," "yes you are!" "okay, maybe a little bit."

rating: heh what ever you want.

**Weir's office**

Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her temples. She looked at the three men seated across from her, John, who was slowly recovering from being stone drunk, Rodney, who was studiously avoiding looking at Bates, who had the unfortunate luck of having witnessed this whole escapade and was very uncomfortable because of it.

"Alright so let me get this straight…You were drunk?" she said to John. He nodded then grimaced, pressing the ice pack against his head. "Where did you get the alcohol?"

"Still." He muttered, she sighed and turned to Rodney.

"And you had no idea he was drunk?" Rodney shook his head.

"Alright what exactly happened?" the three men looked distinctly uncomfortable and Rodney started fidgeting.

**Several hours before**

_"Rodney?"_

_"Major…are you drunk?"_

_"No." giggle_

_"You are, aren't you!"_

_"No, I'm not McKay, I don't get drunk!"_

_"Your drunk!"_

_"No, I'm not!"_

_"Yes, you are!"_

_"Okay, maybe a little bit." _

**Present time**

Elizabeth turned to John and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that Athosian stuff is ten times stronger then our stuff!" he said defensively. She sighed and turned back to Rodney.

"What happened next?" Rodney shifted uncomfortably, it was Bates who answered.

**Several hours earlier**

_Bates sighed and entered the puddle jumper bay. It was empty, as to be expected with the party upstairs. He ducked into puddle jumper three and retrieved his book. As he was leaving he stopped and turned._

_"What the hell was that?" he murmured, it sounded like muffled cries, coming from puddle jumper one. He walked cautiously and silently, slipping around the side of puddle jumper one and drawing his gun. He ducked around the side and cautiously peaked inside and promptly had a heart attack. He nearly dropped his gun when he saw Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay wrapped around each other, involved in less military or scientific for that matter, activities. And from the looks of it they were both enjoying it, very much. Wow, where the hell did McKay learn to do that? He blinked and jumped backward when he realized what he was thinking. He frowned; should he stop them…he turned when he heard footsteps heading toward the observation deck. He turned back to the two men, he may disagree with them most of the time but…He took a deep breath, holstered his gun, and cleared his throat loudly._

_"You might want to get your cloths back on before anyone else sees you." The looks on the two men's faces were comical. _

**Present time**

Elizabeth took a deep breath and sighed.

"And then I came in." they nodded.

**Several hours earlier**

_"Dr. McKay, Major Sheppard, Sergeant Bates, what's going on?" Elizabeth gapped as she looked at the two half dressed men and one very red man. _

_"Well, you see it all started with the missing lube…" John started; Bates and Rodney hit him upside the head. Elizabeth's jaw dropped._

_"What's going on?" She demanded. _

_"I was trying to tell you!" John glared at the other two men. "See I lost my lube and then I started thinking about the puddle jumpers and…" McKay turned bright red and turned away and Bates started looking like a fish._

**Present time**

"Yes, ma'm." Bates nodded, Elizabeth sighed.

"Sergeant are you going to be able to sleep?" she asked, he really didn't look so good.

"Not for a while ma'm." he answered.

"Go to Carson and get something to help you sleep." She sighed and dismissed him. He nodded and left, she turned back to Rodney and John.

"As for you two…" They blushed. "next time you decide to have…sex…in a public place, make sure no one is going to walk in on you."

_…diwedd…_


	12. Chapter 12

**severusslave**'s request

pairing - McKay/Beckett or McKay/Zelenka  
what you want to happen - lazing around on beds, talking about and tracing of tattoos D, tongues  
word or phrase you would like one of the characters to say - Whew! That sure is an interesting place! Didn't that hurt?  
rating - well, as porny as you can make it

**Here we go…**

Radek sighed and stretched and turned to his lovers. Both sprawled out on the bed next to him, their cloths spread out randomly across the room and the covers and pillows twisted.

"Well, that was fun." He commented in highly accented English. Rodney and Carson both looked at him, then each other and burst out laughing, after a moment of revealing in his satisfaction Radek joined them. They calmed down after a while and just relaxed, bathing in the relaxed, content after affects of amazing sex. Lazily Radek started tracing circles on Rodney's thigh moving upward slowly.

Carson sighed and relaxed back into the pillows, drifting off, at least he was until one lover jumped up and demanded 'what's that?' of his other lover. He turned; Radek was sitting up now, wide awake and staring at Rodney's upper thigh.

"What?" he asked, sitting up.

"It's a tattoo." Rodney sighed, Carson's eyes bugged open.

"What?" he leaned over and gapped. Sure enough, right on the joint of Rodney's hip, a few centimeters diagonally up from his cock in black was a tattoo. "When did you get that?" Carson demanded.

"What is it?" Radek demanded at the same time. Rodney rolled his eyes.

"You I can think of much better things for the two of you to do down there." They glared at him and he rolled his eyes again. "It's the symbol for infinity." They both gave him blank looks. "And you call your selves scientists!" he snorted. "It's used in advanced mathematics." They raised their eyebrows and shared a look before turning back to Rodney and his tattoo.

"Whew! That sure is an interesting place!" Radek exclaimed, mimicking the American lingo he'd learned from the soldiers.

"Didn't that hurt, Rodney?" Carson asked, "If I remember correctly you aren't one for pain." He remarked, Rodney glared at him.

"Were you drunk." Rodney sputtered at the Czech's innocent question that actually made a lot of sense, Carson laughed.

"No I was not drunk!" Rodney snapped defensively, they shared a look.

"When did you get it?" Carson asked doubtfully, Rodney glared at him.

"In college, after I got my first PhD and no I wasn't high, drunk or stoned. Or all three."

"Rodney, how many PhD's do you have?" Carson asked after a moment. Rodney snorted and shrugged, then gasped as Radek started tracing the tattoo with his tongue.

"Seven." He moaned, they gapped at him. "I was going to get another one but I ended up here before I could."

"Rodney…" Carson asked slowly. "Do you have a tattoo for**_ every_** PhD?" he eyed the two of them warily.

"That depends…what are you going to do?" Radek licked his lips and Carson leered. Rodney's cock jumped to attention. " Yes, I do. I have one for every PhD, but I'm not telling you were they are…you have to find them…" he trailed off as both his lovers went to work locating the other tattoos.

_…diwedd… _


	13. Chapter 13

**Terri **'s request

I'd like to see a drabble with John and Rodney, first time, and the phrase "He hocked a loogie at me!". Any rating is fine.

**Here we go…**

"He hocked a loogie at me!" Major Sheppard ragged while his team collapsed in laughter. Ford was snorting and coughing trying to contain his laughter out of respect, Teyla was snickering, and McKay looked like he was about to die of laughter, he was holding his side and doubled over. The animal that resembled a cross between a llama and a giraffe, just stared back innocently as John glared at him, wiping spit off his face. The natives were beaming, trying to explain to a very ticked off major Sheppard that the thing spitting on him was a good thing, Teyla tried to intervene as she was the only person on Sheppard's team capable of speaking, McKay was laughing away his voice and Ford was giving himself a really bad sore throat trying not to laugh. John grumbled and growled and snapped all the way back to Atlantis and then disappeared into his room for the rest of the day. When Elizabeth finished laughing and asked what was wrong, Rodney said he was just sulking and that he'd check on him.

"Major I'm coming in." Rodney announced and came in before Sheppard could tell him to go away.

"What?" He snapped and glared at his lover. Who just laid down o top of him without a care in the world. "McKay I'm not in the mood." Total lie, his cock had taken notice the minute Rodney's voice had rang out.

"Your going to be the one spitting in a moment Major." He whispered, John moaned without a thought as Rodney slid down John's body. John swallowed, okay so the day hadn't been a total waste.

_…diwedd… _


	14. Chapter 14

**neridowell** 2

Pairing: Sheppard/Ford  
To happen: During or post-Seige. Sheppard doesn't like Colonel Everett.  
To say: Ford - "(insert something here). He's got three purple hearts, two silver stars--"  
Sheppard - "And a partridge in a pear tree. I know. He's great. I still don't like him."  
Rating: F. For Ford-containing v

"I can't believe anyone would put him in charge! I thought Hammond and O'Neill were smarter than that!" Sheppard fumed. Ford sat back and watched his commanding officer pace – he seemed to have picked up the habit from his lover Rodney. Ford coughed and tried not to laugh.

"Of course, sir." McKay and Zelenka, their lovers, were bent over their laptops a few feet away.

"How the hell did he get a job in the Stargate program!"

"Sir, he's got more medals than fingers. He's got three Purple Hearts, two Silver Stars—"

"And a partridge in a pear tree, I know. He's great, I still don't like him!"

"All those mean is that he's been shot three times and he's suicidal," McKay muttered, earning a smile from Zelenka. If Sheppard didn't like Everett, McKay and Zelenka hated him.

"I think you're just upset about not being in charge sir." Ford ignored McKay, but Sheppard twitched.

"I am not."

"Yes you are, sir."

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are, sir."

"Am not!"

"Are too, sir."

"Such an intelligent conversation." McKay said sarcastically as Zelenka shook his head.

"I am not jealous, Ford!" Sheppard roared.

"Of course not, sir." _Who knew you could say sir so many ways_, Zelenka mused watching the two, while McKay muttered something about distractions and explosions. Ford and Sheppard had stormed into their lab after drills with Everett and his men, which actually happened a lot since they'd become lovers, usually after they'd had a bad day or a really good one, sometimes they just showed up which annoyed the hell out of McKay. They'd hang out with them, talking or joking, until the two men were ready to close up. Zelenka and Ford almost always left first. Usually while waiting, Ford and Sheppard would fall asleep, and Rodney sometimes would set off some loud noises or turn on random machines and they would fly out of their seats in a panic thinking the whole city was under attack. Normally Zelenka scolded McKay but sometimes he laughed along with him, it didn't help that Rodney had installed a warning system that screamed 'Wraith!' whenever a button was pushed. He shuddered as he remembered their first reaction to that, they shot the microphone, then stared at it wide eyed for several seconds before turning to McKay looking ready to kill, only to back up and apologize when they saw the furious look on McKay's face and his. After they'd beat a hasty retreat Rodney and Zelenka had laughed their asses off and pulled out the real microphone from its hiding place. John and Aiden still didn't know it had been a joke and kept the safety on their guns on when ever they were in the lab. In their own defense, he and McKay had felt it necessary as the two soldiers kept breaking things when they were bored.

"Oh come on, three drills a day, plus training and guard shifts? No one's going to be able to walk by the end of the week."

"I like to think some us are up to it, sir," Aiden said with a raised eyebrow.

"Soldiers," McKay muttered, "not scientists." Zelenka nodded in agreement.

"That's why you're lucky you don't have to go through these stupid drills." They looked at him and Ford and Sheppard gaped. "He's putting you through drills?" Zelenka nodded, and then paused.

"Well, he tried to," he amended.

"You should have seen it!" a voice from the doorway interrupted. They turned to see Elizabeth, Teyla, Beckett, Grodin, Stackhouse, and Bates. Elizabeth was grinning from ear to ear.

"The guys have new heroes." Bates smirked.

"What happened?"

"Everett called the entire scientific staff into the gateroom for drills, only he didn't tell them they were for drills." Elizabeth sat down on one of the stools as the others made themselves comfortable. Bates continued.

"When they all arrived he'd told them they were going to run through several drills in case of an emergency, and keep in mind this is at 8:00 in the morning. You should have seen their faces. They just stared at him for about ten minutes before McKay turned on his heel and left and the others followed. Everett tried to tell them to stop but they ignored him and McKay locked him and everyone else in the gateroom for three hours." Sheppard's and Ford's jaws dropped. "He had them meet him in the gateroom at 6:00 this morning as punishment," Elizabeth snorted and shook her head. "When we walked in, the entire scientific staff was asleep on the floor." Everyone started laughing, hard. "When Everett tried to wake Simpson up she punched him in the nose."

"What happened when he woke McKay up?" Sheppard asked between laughs.

"He told me to sir." Stackhouse said.

"And?"

"I said 'No way in hell sir. You don't know him, he'll kill me in worse ways then the Wraith can and then he'll shut down the city's shields just for spite'." Stackhouse grinned.

"Needless to say, Everett has decided, for now, to leave the scientists alone." Elizabeth smiled. Sheppard and Ford stared at their lovers in amazement. Zelenka blushed.

"I'm gonna do more then shut down the shields if he wakes me up one more time," McKay muttered, sending everyone into new waves of laughter.

_...diwedd..._


	15. Chapter 15

kasuchan

pairing: McShep  
what you want to happen: I don't know, something fluffy, some snuggling, surprise me.  
word or phrase: "You know that I still hate you, do you?"  
rating: PG-13, perhaps?

John sighed and slid into bed next to Rodney, who ignored him.

"Rodney?" No response. He snuggled closer and tried again. "Rodney?" The scientist ignored him. "I'm sorry. Really I am. It'll never happen again." Rodney continued to ignore him. "It was kinda funny though, you have to admit that." He gave a week laugh. Rodney pulled away. "Rodney?" John's voice was getting smaller. Wow, he'd really done it this time. "I'm sorry, Rodney, really. What can I do to make it up to you?" Rodney relaxed and let John snuggle closer. "Seriously though, anything you want and I'll do it, sexual favors, anything." Rodney snorted but didn't say anything, his back still facing John. John pressed his forehead against the back of Rodney's neck. He loved the feeling of being close. Rodney was soft and warm and currently really pissed off at John, because he had gone and done something stupid. Really, really, stupid.

Making fun of one of Rodney's projects was not a good idea in hindsight. First, Rodney became pissed and had set about making his life a living hell for several hours, and then he'd calmed down and sulked, hurt by the major's comment and John had never felt so guilty. "I swear Rodney. I'll never do it again." What was it going to take to get Rodney to forgive him this time? Would he even? "Rodney…I," he trailed off, what was he going to do? Then it clicked. "Rodney…I'm sorry I hurt you…" Still no response. "Really…Rodney?" Silence. Then Rodney rolled onto his back and pulled John against him, and they fit together like tab A and slot B. Rodney didn't say anything for a long time and John just lay there, absorbing Rodney's presence.

"You know I still hate you, right?"

"You do?"

If you want me to change anything let me know.


	16. Chapter 16

**_pixienymph_**

_McShep food porn...?_

"Strawberries…**_on Sheppard's nipples as he sucked and nipped_** orange juice…**_ running down Sheppard's chest, Sheppard moaning as he licked it off_** apples…**_feeding slices to Sheppard with his teeth and tongue_** carrots…**_he used them to tease_** **_John's entrance, pressing hard, but not hard enough to penetrate, Sheppard begging for it to be harder_**" Rodney glared. "Hot fudge…**_dripped onto Sheppard's dick, sucking it like a popsicle_** bananas…**_trailed down Sheppard's back, pressed against his hole_**" Rodney started grinding his teeth. "Cherries…**_sucking them like they were balls, teasing Sheppard as he moaned and whimpered_** Licorice …**_used to tie Sheppard's wrists above his head, watching him strain against it, his skin glistening and his muscles rippling_** whipped cream…**_all over Sheppard's abdomen, licking it off slowly, close to his cock but never close enough_** ice cream…**_poured over Sheppard's body, cold against hot, sticky against slick, sweat against tangy_**" Rodney started twitching. "Candy drops, the kind in the long white paper…**_arranged all over Sheppard's body in designs, picking each one up with his tongue, careful not to touch skin, Sheppard watching as he did_** sugar…**_Scattered over Sheppard's fingers, licking every grain off, thoroughly_** Cheese Whiz…**_in circles up and down Sheppard's legs, sucking it off, leaving marks where each one had been_**" John licked his lips. "Apple pie…**_eaten off Sheppard's chest_** chocolate milk…**_poured into Sheppard's belly button, sucking it out while Sheppard arched up under him_** Cucumbers…**_pressed into Sheppard's entrance like a dildo, cold and hard, brushing over his prostate as he sat back and watched Sheppard beg and scream for it to be harder, faster, begging for him to take him and fuck him, hard through the mattress_** Na-Ow!" Rodney threw his coffee cup at him and nailed him in the head, almost knocking him out of his chair. John turned and glared at him. Elizabeth stared at him in shock. They'd been having a regular meeting about the food supplies and John had started talking about the Earth food he missed and all of a sudden Rodney had thrown a coffee cup across the room and nailed him. Teyla inched her chair away, Ford tried to hide a laugh, Zelenka sighed, Bates rolled his eyes, and Beckett got up from his chair to check on John's head. "What the hell was that for?" John snarled. Rodney glared and John backed off, wondering what the hell he had done to piss McKay off. He had never seen Rodney that angry; his glare could shatter diamonds, or scare the Wraith away for good. "What?" he squeaked, inching behind Beckett, who was inching his way backwards the others.

"My cup." Rodney's voice was harder then naquadah. John carefully handed him the cup and jumped back. Rodney slammed his laptop shut making everyone jump at least two feet in the air and stood. He picked up the laptop and cup and stormed out of the conference room with his head held high.

"What is wrong with Dr. McKay?" Teyla demanded. Ford sitting next to her, pale, eyes wide, shrugged. Everyone turned to John.

"What?"

"Well, he was obviously angry at you." Elizabeth stated.

"I didn't do anything!" John defended himself, they started at him. "At least I don't think so…."


	17. Chapter 17

**severusslave**

**Some hot usage of Carson's tongue on John. I see him arching off the bed/nest of furs/infirmary strecher. Hee! And the next morning with beard burn on his thighs etc.**

"I _still_ can't feel anything from my waist down!" Carson struggled to contain his laughter at John's indignant look. The major had come back from his latest mission frozen from the waist down. The rest of his team had left him in Carson's care for the night, the doctor had yet to figure out how to cure his legs and the major was getting edgy.

"Hmm, maybe an overload of some sort." Carson suggested to himself ignoring John's glare.

"An overload of what?" John squeaked, not liking the look on Carson's face.

"Well, feeling, for lack of a better word. Hmm… something like an electrical shock."

"I'm fine, I can feel!" John panicked.

"Relax, I'm not gonna shock you, I had something more intimate in mind…"

"Huh?" Now John was confused. The infirmary was empty except for the two of them, a rare occasion. Carson tossed his stethoscope onto the table and motioned to John.

"Move over so your legs are hanging over the side." John did, though it was kind of hard since he couldn't feel them. Wait - there was a tingle!

"Hey, Carson, I-fuck!" John gasped as Carson pulled up his hospital robe and gave his half-hard cock a squeeze that brought it up all the way. "Carson?" John whimpered, very confused.

"Relax, Major, we'll have you back to normal in no time," Carson said cheerfully, John squeaked, and threw his head back and moaned when Carson licked his cock.

"Holy- I can feel what you doing, Carson, it feels like when your arm falls asleep!" he whispered, shifting on the bed. Carson sat back on his heels and frowned, and John lifted his head to watch him. Carson cocked his head to the side then leaned forward and took John's cock into his mouth without hesitation. John's eyes almost bugged out of his head and he whimpered, watching his cock move in and out of Carson's mouth as the doctor sucked. Carson traced designs with his tongue and John's head fell back, accompanied by a long, loud moan and a choked "Carson!". Waves of pleasure flowed over his body. He couldn't believe this was happening - he could barely feel from the waist down, though that seemed to be changing, and Carson was sucking him off on the infirmary stretcher! He whimpered and arched off the bed, thrusting into Carson's hot, wet mouth. Carson massaged his balls and moved his tongue down to rim John's hole. That was a new sensation. Carson's mouth left his cock and John nearly flew up off the bed when Carson's tongue suddenly pressed in, past the tight ring of muscle. White hot sparks of pleasure flew through his body and sent John over the edge. He screamed as he came, arching up off the bed, the sheets gripped tightly in his hands. Carson wiped off his face and then John, who was still limp and gasping on the stretcher.

"Can ya feel now?"

"Yeah…" John croaked.

Next Day

John and Rodney were walking down the hall, heading for Elizabeth's office. Rodney noticed that John was walking funny, like a someone after his first horseback ride.

"What's wrong with you now?" Rodney asked, and John glared at him.

"Carson treated you yesterday right?" Rodney nodded. "He treated me too." Rodney raised an eyebrow. "You ever get beard burn from his treatments?"

"Ah." Realization dawned on Rodney's face. He snorted. "Oh yeah."


	18. Chapter 18

**Title:** request by mackeygenius  
**Author:** llewellynprince  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Pairings:** Rodney McKay/John Sheppard  
**Warnings:** sex  
**Summary:** Request by mackeygenuis  
**Notes:** Thanks to betas by Linda Sheppardster and Lyndasty for all their help and comments.

mackeygenius

Pairing: McShep  
Rodney says: " Not my fault if for once our places are reversed, Kirk!"  
plot: Aliens decide that Rodney is a sex god, want to keep him though Major Sheppard isn't happy with that. At the beginning, McKay and Sheppard aren't a couple yet.  
Rating: You choose, though I wouldn't spit on some Nc-17 naughty grin

Sorry the plot changed at bit.

Rodney grinned.

Sheppard glared.

Rodney laughed.

Sheppard sulked.

It was turning into a pattern.

"Oh grow up ! It's not my fault that for once our places were reversed!" Rodney taunted, he felt like doing a victory dance, but decided against it once he noticed the look on Elizabeth's face.

"What's going on?" Elizabeth asked, hiding her amusement at the expressions on the team's faces. Rodney looked like he'd just been crowned King of the Universe, Teyla looked way too amused for anyone's good, Ford looked confused, like someone had just told him everything he believed was backwards, and John… John looked _utterly miserable_.

She _really_ wanted to know what happened on the planet. "Should we go to my office?" She asked dryly.

"Oh, there's no need to do that Elizabeth!" Rodney said loudly when Sheppard nodded and grinned.

Sheppard's face fell.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. _Oh boy_. She had feeling this was going to be like the picture incident. She gave them a 'well out with it' look.

For a moment no one answered. Rodney stood there looking smug, Sheppard for some reason, was turning red, Ford was looking back and forth between the two of them and in the end, it was Teyla that answered.

"The inhabitants of Cilliran believe him to be a God."

"A God?" Elizabeth repeated.

Teyla nodded.

"What kind of God?" for some reason, Elizabeth had the feeling she didn't want to hear the answer for this.

"A Sex God," Teyla answered simply.

SILENCE.

"A. Sex. God," Elizabeth repeated staring at them.

Ford nodded. About two seconds later, the entire gate room was howling with laughter.

"Congratulations Major," Elizabeth said dryly.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," Grodin grinned.

"Oh, but that's not the funny part," Rodney grinned, like he knew something they didn't and he did.

"It was not the Major they believed to be a god," Teyla said calmly and the entire room shut up.

"What?" someone asked.

"Who was it then? Ford?" Another person asked. Ford blushed and ducked his head.

"Dr. McKay," She answered simply.

SILENCE.

"They thought Rodney was a Sex God?" Elizabeth repeated and when Teyla nodded, all her well-honed diplomatic skills went out the window. She doubled over laughing, along with the rest of the room.

"They did not look twice at the Major," Teyla informed them, which only made them laugh harder and Sheppard blush even more. Rodney wouldn't stop grinning.

By the time he'd escaped the gate room, John was pretty sure his temperature had gone up a few degrees from all the blood rushing to his head and he was tempted to ask Elizabeth for a few days off to cool down; when she finally stopped laughing of course. He frowned at that thought.

"Phew, that was intense!" Rodney suddenly appeared next to him, still grinning.

John mumbled something unintelligible.

"What? Speak up, Major, is something wrong?"

"Stop rubbing it in!" he roared losing it. Rodney stopped walking in surprise.

"Not my fault if for once our places are reversed, Kirk!" he shrugged nonchalantly. "Besides I am."

John glared, the man couldn't even pretend for his sake. That hurt. "Am a what?"

"A Sex God Major."

"Huh?" Sheppard stared at him and stopped walking in surprise. Rodney didn't notice at first and when he finally did, he only paused for a moment to tell him to hurry up. John shook himself out of it and caught up with him. They walked in silence for a distance.

"Don't take it personally Major."

John looked at him. "Its fine Rodney, don't worry about it."

Rodney smiled briefly. "Of course, you do realize that now you have to admit that I'm the best, right?"

"Don't press or push your luck," John growled.

"The priestess seemed to think so and she loved saying it," Rodney added.

John twitched. "Yeah well, that's pretty much all she knew how to say," He muttered, that hussy!

Rodney stared at him for a moment before it clicked and he burst out. "You're jealous!"

"What? No!" Rule one: if confronted with the truth, deny, deny, deny and then deny some more, _loudly_. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Rodney raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "Oh reeaally?" his gaze bore into John, who'd always had a problem lying to him.

"I'm serious! Rodney I wasn't jealous of you!" he'd started waving his hands around nervously.

"Alright I believe you."

That was a surprise. "You do?" John paused.

"Yup, why would you lie?" Rodney smiled and they continued walking. If he'd stopped to think about it and he hadn't been so tired, John would have seen Rodney's plan.

"Right, I don't have a reason too. I mean she wasn't that hot anyway, and she seemed kinda pushy, she kept hanging on to you too."

"Yeah, that was kind of annoying," Rodney agreed.

"I mean, you could do so much better."

"Like who?"

"Like me."

"True."

"And her hair, Rodney, her hair was hot pink." John was rambling.

"True, I prefer blondes. Although, I'm not against brunettes either. I like short hair too."

"Hers was down to her feet!"

"I don't know how she keeps it so shiny and soft."

"Yeah." They turned down another hallway and a victorious grin spread across his face as John stumbled to a stop, realising what he'd just said.

"I can understand why she didn't want me to leave. Although, it was nice having you get all protective and ticked off at the thought."

John stared at him in horror, his mouth opening and closing without sound.

"Of course I would have done the same for you. Actually, I already did, didn't I?" he paused, looking thoughtful for a moment. "With Chaya."

"………" John blinked, in hindsight he should have realized that was going to come back and bite him in the ass, a lot.

Rodney turned to him when he didn't speak. "Major, is something wrong?"

"…..Uh, erm, um….. I can explain!"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "It's too late to deny anything Major."

"Uh……" John's mouth fell open and stayed that way.

"Trying to catch flies Major?" Rodney asked a few moments later, starting to sound annoyed. John blinked and his jaw snapped shut. "You know, maybe I will go and visit her-"

"NO WAY IN HELL MCKAY, ARE YOU _EVER_ GOING BACK TO THAT PLANET!" John roared without thinking. He froze and Rodney arched an eyebrow.

John blinked, standing perfectly still. The next thing he knew, his mouth was rather occupied. Rodney's lips were warm and soft, just like he'd imagined, as ever since their first meeting, he was all he fantasized about. The lips, the nipples, because really what was the shirt supposed to do? Cover them up? Ha! The ass, 'cause it was a really, _really_ great ass. He closed his eyes and pressed into the kiss, gripping Rodney's biceps. Rodney's hands came up to his shoulders and guided John back up against the wall, pinning him between the cold metal and his warm body.

John moaned as Rodney pressed their bodies flush against one another and then slid a leg between his, pressing it against his hardening cock. Suddenly, one of Rodney's hands was in his shirt and then his tongue was halfway down his throat and John couldn't talk, let alone think. He was pretty sure all his bones had melted or just disappeared, like in one of the Harry Potter movies, the one where they were playing quiden, quided, quid-whatever the hell that game was called!

He recovered his train of thought long enough to wrap his arms around Rodney and hold on for dear life. Rodney pressed their cocks together and John jumped in surprise, nearly biting Rodney's tongue, Rodney was very well endowed.

"Uhg…" John arched under Rodney's movements, as the other man started nipping his neck, slow licks mixed in. Somehow he'd forgotten how to talk coherently and instead, substituted grunts and moans for words, though Rodney's name made it out several times. Dear God! - How did the man do that? John was suddenly very jealous of the ancient technology that Rodney fiddled with all day. He spread his legs wider wrapping one around Rodney's waist as the other man began rubbing against him, hard and fast, the friction delicious, bruising and hard and exactly the way he liked it. John moaned as Rodney's hips ground against his, pressing him harder against the cold wall, their cocks rubbing together through the fabric. His head fell back with a thud and he gasped, his eyes squeezing shut. Rodney slowed down, slowly rotating his hips against Johns.

"Rodney….ohhh….move!" John whimpered then growled, bucking his hips or at least trying to.

"Speed junky." Rodney whispered in his ear and went even slower. Agonizing. Slow. Sweet. Over and over and over again. Rodney bit down on the side of his neck and John whimpered, then screamed as the rush of orgasm coursed through him, like Niagara Falls. Rodney came right after, John's orgasm triggering his. Rodney gasped and bit down on John's shoulder to muffle the noise.

John went limp in Rodney's arms, he felt like a noddle, gasping as the aftershocks of his orgasm shuddered through him. Rodney's face was buried in his neck and his breath was warm in John's ear, their hearts were beating in tandem, gradually slowing down, back to their normal rate.

John pulled back, nudging Rodney and removed his leg from around Rodney's waist. "Rodney?"

Rodney lifted his head from John's shoulder and pulled back, letting John stand on his own feet.

John held on to Rodney until his legs were steady, then looked at him. Rodney's face was flush; his eyes still dark with desire. "Uh…." He stared at him and Rodney stared back at him. They stood like that for several seconds while their bodies returned to normal. "……" For once it seemed both of them were at a loss of what to say.

Then Rodney spoke. "See, I am a Sex God," he grinned lecherously.

John twitched. "Rodney…."

"Relax Major, I'm all yours. Now, your quarters or mine?"

John stared at him, gaping like a fish; he was so confused by this whole thing.

Rodney sighed after a while. "Well? Would you rather we just forget this whole incident?"

"NO! Ur, I mean….yours."

…diwedd…


	19. Chapter 19

partners4life

**Pairing:** Sheppard/McKay

**What you want one of the characters to say:** Rodney gave John a look that would freeze most men in their tracks, however John ignored it and remarked sarcastically, "This is another fine mess you've gotten us into, Stan."

**Plot:** My favorite cliche: Aliens made them do it

**Rating:** R or NC-17

Planet -------

Pegasus Galaxy

Rodney McKay was not a happy camper. And being stuck on **_another_** god forsaken planet that belonged in the Star Wars galaxy while it was pouring down rain and being ungodly hot was for once not what was annoying the hell out of him. It was Sheppard! And it wasn't his normal everything-is-all-right-calm-down-McKay attitude that was bugging him. For the past hour he'd hung on every word out of Rodney's mouth, from his complaints to his orders. He acted like Rodney was the military CO of Atlantis and he was a clueless kid. It was starting to scare Rodney...or it was up until two seconds ago when John had smiled an I-knew-it smile and said.

"Had enough McKay?" Rodney gave him a look that would freeze most men in their tracks, but John ignored it, stepped in front of him to survey their surroundings, and remarked sarcastically, "This is another fine mess you've gotten us into, Stan." Rodney twitched. Sheppard sighed and tried his radio. "Ford, Teyla? You there, come in, over." There was silence for a moment then the radio cackled.

"Ford, here sir. Over."

"Everything alright, Lt? Over."

"Yes, sir. Over."

"Alright, let me know if something happens. Over." Nothing would of course because the bad things that happened on missions only happened to Rodney.

"Yes, sir. Over and Out." the radio clicked off and Sheppard turned to Rodney, ignoring his glare.

"Let's go, McKay." Sheppard ordered and started walking, not even looking back to see if Rodney would follow. Rodney glared at his back the entire time. They walked for what seemed like hours and by the time they crested their third hill Rodney had a raging hard on from staring at John's ass and his temper was reaching the boiling point.

"Are we there yet?" he snapped, Sheppard sighed.

"No, McKay, we're about five minutes away from the spot when you last asked." Sheppard sounded like he was about to loose his temper and McKay raised an eyebrow at this, Sheppard seemed like he was always in control especially when it came to McKay, but then the circumstances were pretty trying. When they'd first stepped through the gate everything had been fine, there wasn't any known life on the planet which was why it had only been the two of them, hadn't taken long for them to realize what bullshit that was! Within ten minutes of leaving the gate they'd been jumped by a group of pigmy like creatures who'd dragged them to their village, which was several miles from the stargate and painted, yes, painted them, literally. McKay was now an electric blue and Major Sheppard was hot pink. They'd managed to get their gear back thankfully but most of it had been dyed or painted to match its owner. Surprisingly once they'd gotten away the pigmy things hadn't come after them and McKay was now certain that he wanted them to, just to end his suffering.

"Major," he didn't care that he was whining. "Do you even know where we are?" Sheppard twitched McKay could tell even though he was behind him. Constant hours of staring at the man had given him that ability.

"Yes, McKay I do. The stargate is about a mile that way." he pointed. "Do you think you can last that long?"

"No." McKay answered bluntly causing Sheppard to trip and nearly do a face plant. McKay stood over him and looked down with a raised eyebrow. "And I'm beginning to doubt that you can either." Sheppard groaned and stood up, turning to look at McKay who just raised an innocent eyebrow. "What it's an observation!" Sheppard sighed, shook his head, and started walking again. They finally collapsed to rest a half an hour later, under some kind of huge tropical tree. Rodney studied the paint on his arms; the rain hadn't so much as smudged it. He hoped and prayed it'd come off in the shower with soap. But what if it didn't? He started hyperventilating.

"What's this paint made of?" Sheppard asked studying his own decorations, seemingly oblivious to McKay's situation.

"Tell me, Major how am I supposed to know what it is?" McKay snapped, trying to control his breathing.

"Right, sorry. Just breathe McKay, slow deep breaths." It'd happened so many times that Sheppard just sighed and leaned back against the tree trunk. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back. McKay watched him and felt the uncomfortable tightness in his pants coming back. He sighed, this was really getting ridiculous and the Major was completely clueless, well at least he thought he was did he just sneak a look at him? Rodney frowned he was pretty sure the major had just snuck a peak at him. This was getting weird but an idea suddenly crossed his mind and he grinned, earning a strange look from the major before closing his eyes and leaning back.

"I'm going to sleep. Wake me up in the morning."

"Okay, I'll just stay up the whole night on watch!" Sheppard said sarcastically.

"Okay." Rodney mumbled sleepily. Sheppard twitched then seeing it was useless, sighed and wondered how he'd gotten himself into this situation in the first place. Sheppard watched Rodney drift off to sleep and relaxed. The scientist had been acting weird all day and it more scared then worried him. He felt his eyes drift shut and was asleep in seconds.

_John groaned when a warm hand wrapped around his cock. His hips arched automatically and he gasped, his fingers digging into the dirt at his hips. He threw his head back and groaned at the sensations running through his body. The hand wrapped tightly around his cock, cold fingers on warm skin, slowly working it, up and down, up and down, and John felt his body going boneless, melting at the skilled touch. He moaned again and thrust against the hand, Rodney's he hoped, though he'd never admit it, trying too speed it up. Fingers suddenly started massaging his balls and a warm mouth wrapped around the head of his cock. He cried out and thrust up into the warmth of the mouth. It was hot and wet and it felt so damn good. The hand moved faster now, pumping, the tongue traced the head of his cock, drawing designs, while the other hand cupped and squeezed and massaged his balls. John felt white hot sparks of pleasure shooting up his body, from his cock to his brain and it wasn't long before he screamed Rodney's name and came hard and fast._

Sheppard shot up off the moss covered ground that had served as his bed the night before and gasped, catching his breath by taking deep, gasping breaths. He glanced down at his pants and saw an embarrassing and mysterious blue smudge above the crotch of his pants. He glanced at McKay who was still asleep next to him. When it was obvious McKay was still out cold, he sighed and stood, nudging Rodney with his foot as he picked up his bag. He took another deep breath to calm his nerves as Rodney mumbled and muttered under his breath as he stood and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Come on, McKay." Major Sheppard hurried him alone, praying he missed the nervousness in his voice. Apparently he didn't because he gave him a strange look and crossed his arms refusing to move.

"What's going on Major?" he asked, annoyed.

"Nothing, McKay." Sheppard said quickly, turning. "Come on. We can get to the Stargate before breakfast if we hurry." Rodney raised an eyebrow at the way Sheppard was acting but chalked it up to a bad nights sleep. Once they were on their way again let his mind wander and when he reached to pick up the power bar he'd dropped he noticed the pink on his hands. _Wow, I thought that was a dream! _He studied his hands.

"Hey, McKay! Stop admiring your hands and come on!" Sheppard yelled back. Rodney mussed at his wording as he stuffed the power bar in one of the many pockets in his BDUs and prayed he'd remember which pocket once they got back.

When they finally stepped through the Stargate two hours later Sheppard's nerves were so frayed from being around Rodney and watching the man use his hands constantly, did he use them that much normally? He wondered. He nearly fainted from relief when he crossed the event horizon and stepped into the gate room. Rodney seemed to find the entire situation amusing and hadn't stopped smiling.

Elizabeth was standing with Zelenka, Ford, Teyla, Grodin, Beckett, and Bates when they came through and their jaws dropped. They stared, their mouths open in shock. And who wouldn't, Elizabeth thought, Rodney was painted electric blue and John had been painted hot pink. She narrowed her eyes when she saw a suspicious blue spot right above John's pant line and she saw that Rodney had the same pink as John's body paint on his hands.

"Major, what…" Elizabeth opened her mouth but was too shocked to actually finish her sentence. John and Rodney looked at themselves, at each other, then at everyone else.

"Aliens made us do it!"

…diwedd…


	20. Chapter 20

asjbg  
Pairing: McShep  
What you want one of the characters to say: "Fine! I'll blow you in the jumper, but NOT _while_ you're flying it."  
Plot: How about discovery!fic, wherein someone (or multiple someones) find out about their relationship.  
Rating: as high as you can get it...what's higher than NC-17?

John pouted, Rodney twitched.

"NO!"

"Pleeaaassee!" John begged. Ford and Bates, Elizabeth and Teyla, and Zelenka and Beckett watched in strange fascination at what was happening in the puddle jumper. Bates and Ford were in the security office watching on one of Atlantis's screens. Elizabeth and Teyla were in Teyla's quarters watching on the laptop from a camera they'd installed purely for this purpose. Zelenka and Beckett were in Carson's room which had direct hook-ups to the medical lab's mainframe which monitored the gate room and puddle jumper bay at all times.

"What's going on?" Ford muttered squinting at the screen.

"I have no idea sir," Bates responded over Ford's shoulder, looking as confused and as fascinated as Ford.

Elizabeth and Teyla grinned, catching Rodney and John in the act was the reason they'd installed the camera, and thus proving to everyone that what they said was true, not to mention they'd win the bet. They lounged back on the bed and balanced the laptop on their legs as they watched.

Zelenka and Beckett gapped at the computer screen as they realized what was happening.

"I don't believe it!" Beckett muttered. Zelenka pushed his glasses up and zoomed in. "Radek! This is private we shouldn't be spying on them." Radek gave him a look over his glasses, he'd been spending way to much time with Rodney. Beckett gave him a stern one back, he still remembered the last time Rodney had gotten into the video feed, he shivered, but gave up at Rodney's next words.

"I will not blow you in the puddle jumper Major!"

Ford who'd been leaning forward in his chair fell off and Bates' jaw dropped.

Elizabeth and Teyla burst out laughing. This was way more amusing then they'd ever imagined.

"Wait, I still can't see, zoom in more," Beckett snapped at Radek forgetting his earlier hesitation and moving closer to his colleague and lover.

"Plleeaassee! I blow you in the lab!"

"Eeww, I will never be able to work in there again," Radek grimaced.

"You already have!" Radek nearly fell off the bed and Carson was about to laugh, "And in the medical bay," but gapped in shock at those words and then it was Radek's turn to laugh.

Bates and Ford did not want to hear this about their commanding officer.

"Turn it off!" Ford begged covering his ears as he pulled himself up. Bates reached forward and flipped the off switch, but it didn't go off. "Why is it still there?" Ford asked, wide eyed and panicky.

"I don't know sir." Bates muttered flipping the switch several more times. "There must be a malfunction." Ford groaned and Bates looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Fine!" Everyone froze, all eyes flying to the two men on the screen. They watched as Rodney sighed in surrender and Sheppard kissed him hard. "I'll blow you in the jumper, but NOT _while_ you're flying it," Rodney grumbled, "Now take off your damn cloths."

Ford sputtered. "I'm never flying with him again." Bates raised an eyebrow and looked at Ford. "What I didn't know about this! What they say about team mates knowing everything about each other? Total bullshit!" He panicked as the cloths started coming off. The last thing Ford ever wanted to see was two of his closest friends getting naked and steamy. Seriously the lens of the camera was starting to fog and it was on the other side of the room.

Elizabeth choked on her drink when John suddenly flung off his shirt and started a less then innocent embrace with Rodney. Suddenly Teyla shut the laptop.

"Hey!" Elizabeth protested…then she saw the look in the Athosian warrior's eyes. She wasn't complaining for long.

Carson blushed as Rodney and John kissed, backing into the puddle jumper, but still within view of the camera. Rodney pressed John against the wall of the jumper and his hands disappeared down into John's pants. Radek wiped of his glasses, put them back on and squinted at the screen.

"I cannot see anything!" he pouted after a moment and Carson looked away from his voyeurism to study his lover's face.

He frowned, paused, then smiled lecherously. "We can do something else!" he suggested, Radek raised an eyebrow.

Ford watched transfixed as Rodney suddenly pushed John up against the inner wall of the puddle jumper.

"Whoa, guess the Major's not the dominate one in that relationship." He muttered, and then caught himself. "I can't believe I just said that." Bates tapped him on the shoulder. "What?"

"Look." He pointed to two of the other screens. Ford turned and his jaw dropped when on one screen he saw Teyla and Elizabeth engaged in every man's fantasy and on the other Zelenka and Carson doing something that definitely wasn't scientific and probably wasn't medical either, unless he'd missed something during the last three physicals he'd skipped, but then Bates looked as surprised as him so it probably wasn't that. His throat went dry when Rodney suddenly dropped to his knees and undid the Major's BDUs. He turned to Bates.

"Aren't you surprised?" The man's face was a mask as usual.

Bates shrugged. "Yes, but it doesn't bother me. Does it bother you?" Bates asked.

Ford frowned and turned back to the screen, he didn't know if it bothered him or not or what part of it exactly bothered him. He'd never known soldiers that had same sex relations or any soldier that had a relationship with a scientist that might actually work, that was the stuff of stories. Or it might have been the fact that the Major was his closet friend here on Atlantis. He'd thought he'd been the Major's as well but the fact that he hadn't been entrusted with what was basically the Major's biggest secret…well, maybe he wasn't the Major's closet friend and yet he still hadn't known about the Major's relationship with McKay. And McKay…well, he'd known he wasn't one of McKay's nearest and dearest. Until just then, he didn't think Rodney McKay had anyone on Atlantis that fell into that category. At the very least, though Ford thought he was more than an acquaintance, especially after their daily Prime/Not Prime games.

But then, know that he thought about it there were signs. The constant touching, the arguing…wow, when he thought about it, yeah made sense.

Aiden's thoughts turned back to Bates' question. Did it bother him? No, not really. Not after seeing them work together for so long, seeing the way they were around each other. Neither of them would ever leave anyone else behind, relationship or not. Ford admitted that he knew for a fact and he'd kick the hell out of anyone who said or thought differently.

Lonely on an alien planet, in an alien world, in an alien universe, it was a humbling thing, especially to soldiers who were trained to not ask questions. Ford turned back to the screen with Rodney and the Major and nearly fainted when he saw Rodney giving the Major what was probably the best blow job of his life. Rodney's lips were wrapped around the Major's cock and he was sucking it like a Popsicle, one hand was holding the Major's hips still and Rodney had gotten a lot stronger in their combat lessons he remembered now, he shivered, he really hoped not all of it came from this, his other hand was between and behind the Major's legs and even Ford, who'd never ever even thought about this could realize what he was doing.

Ford blushed bright red.

"We shouldn't be watching this," he said, Bates turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

"We're on duty; we can't shut of the security systems because there might be trouble." He argued calmly, if he didn't know any better he'd think Bates didn't want to shut it off. Ford turned back to the screen. The Major had his head thrown back and his hands were gripping McKay's shoulders so hard that his knuckles were white, his hips undulated under Rodney's ministrations and he was biting his lip. Suddenly he let out a keening scream, his head snapping back against the jumper wall. Ford cocked his head to the side, where had McKay's hands gone this time? Oh….Oh! There they were, wow…. Ford's eyes bugged and Bates' coughed to hide a laugh at his expression.

"How does he do that?" Ford muttered.

"It's easy." Bates said without thinking, Ford's head snapped around and he stared at the other man in amazement. Tight-ass, trust no one but your self Bates just raised an eyebrow.

"It comes with age."

Ford raised an eyebrow. "I'm not that young," he muttered defensively.

"You're not that old either," Bates countered.

Ford glared at him, but as usual the man was impervious. He turned back to the screen where Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay were engaged in…extracurricular activities. Rodney was rather enthusiastically sucking Major Sheppard's dick and the major as actively involved, thrusting his hips and moaning encouragement.

Rodney sucked once more and the major was coming, hard, his knees buckled and he screamed, damn McKay must have been good!

John screamed out Rodney's name as he came, gripping the other mans shoulders for balance and letting his head fall back against the wall of the puddle jumper. God Rodney was good at that, with his tongue, and his….wow. It felt like someone was setting of fireworks inside him, good fireworks, very, very good fireworks. He groaned he could feel Rodney swallowing, his throat muscles massaging his dick.

When he was done Rodney rocked back on his heels and watched the Major ride out the last waves of his orgasm. He looked so hot right after sex, skin glistening, eyes closed, face relaxed, unguarded, flushed. He always looked so sleepy, his eyes glazed and hooded. Rodney loved watching him like this.

Sheppard opened his eyes and saw Rodney watching him. He smiled, feeling lazy and relaxed and sated.

"Okay, next time I'll blow you in the gate room."

In the security room Ford was too occupied to hear their last words as they left the jumper bay, Bates had three fingers in Ford's ass and Ford's cock in his mouth and was showing him exactly how Rodney had done that thing with his hands and then he was coming and everything else fell away like rain as he arched and cried out, pretty sure it was Bates' name that made it out but not entirely sure because he wasn't entirely sure he was fully conscious either.

He gasped, blinking the sweat out of his eyes as he came down off whatever cloud he'd been on; Bates loomed above him, still hard and wow, he was right to smirk. He looked like he wanted to ask him something but Ford just spread his legs and gripped the other man's arms as he slowly pressed in.

It hurt at first, a burning pressure, then a pop and he was fully in, holding still, waiting for Ford to adjust before fucking him through the table Ford had checked maps and argued with him over almost everyday.

Bates grunted as he thrust, Aiden cried out as his cock brushed that special spot inside him, then screamed when Bates gripped his cock, the table shook as both men came, then collapsed and Ford's last thought was he hoped the table didn't break.

Sorry it didn't turn out exactly like you wanted, but I just got this idea so… tell me if you want me to redo it!


	21. Chapter 21

Title: jakisbishlygay  
Author: llewellynprince

Series: Drabbles  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: McKay/Sheppard, McKay/Beckett  
Category: romance, humor  
Summary: Really, they should know better then to steal Rodney's coffee.  
Notes: beta'd by Lyndasty and Linda!

jakisbishlygay

Pairing: McShep, maybe with a little bit of Beckett  
what you want one of the characters to say: McKay: "If you bring me my daily coffee injection, I'll pull your hair in all the right places..."  
plot: huh? there needs to be a plot?  
rating: as high as it goes

* * *

Major John Sheppard was officially scared out of his wits, and he was pretty sure he wasn't the only one.

Dr. Carson Beckett was relatively sure he wasn't going to survive the rest of the day, and he was pretty sure he wasn't the only one. "We're going ta die," he stated.

Major Sheppard nodded frantically in agreement.

"_MAJOR, CARSON_…." The threatening voice floated over their radios again and they grimaced.

Elizabeth stared at two of her chiefs. They looked terrified and rightly so if she was right about the voice on the other end of the radio. Bates arched an eyebrow.

"Was that-"

"Yes!" Carson and John said at once, turning pleading eyes on Elizabeth. "Please! Make him go away."

"_Major, Carson_…_If you bring me my daily coffee injection, I'll pull your hair in all the right places_..." the voice sing-songed over the radio.

Elizabeth, Bates, and Caldwell turned different shades of red at the implications of that.

"See! We told you something was wrong!" John cried.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "What did you two do?" she asked bluntly, they spluttered.

"We dinna do nothing!" Carson claimed.

"It's the truth!" John agreed. Elizabeth just looked at them. "Okay so it's not the whole truth." He admitted. She turned to Carson.

"We took his coffee," Carson admitted. John sighed - so much for staying power.

"Why?" Elizabeth asked.

"Because he was being so damn annoying about it!" John sighed.

"I can't believe you two did something so stupid," she sighed.

"Ya donna have to tell us twice!" Carson moaned.

"_Major, Carson if you ever want a hot shower again you're going to tell me where the coffee is!"_

"You're screwed," said Bates pointedly, Caldwell nodding in agreement.

They whimpered.

"_Major Sheppard, Dr. Beckett, this is Zelenka. I wish to give you piece of advice. Give us back the coffee and we will not cause you harm. If you do not give us back the coffee…we make no promises_."

Carson and John swallowed and Elizabeth coughed to hide a chuckle. Zelenka may have been small and good-tempered compared to Rodney, but there were times when he was a force of nature in its self. She shook her head and turned to the two. "You're on your own here Dr., Major, I suggest you hide."

_**Two Hours later**_

Carson let out a sigh of relief. So far he'd managed to avoid Rodney and he just began to think that he might be able to do so for the rest of the day, when he saw his reflection on the wall down the hall. He managed to skip back the way he'd come before Rodney saw him and now he was headed towards his quarters, thankfully without any further sign of Rodney.

Stealing his coffee was the stupidest thing John or Carson had ever done, Rodney seethed as he headed towards Carson's room, it was where he always hid. Honestly, though, he'd thought between the two of them at least they had more of a brain then that, maybe even half of a real one. Really! It's not like they didn't see him with the coffee everyday, usually every hour. He rounded the corner and saw Carson heading to his room not 20 feet in front of him. He grinned; this was almost too easy, at least the Major tried to hide even if Rodney always found him. He picked up his pace and slipped up quietly behind the doctor.

"_Carson_…" Carson jumped at least ten feet in the air, at the very least eight and spun around, backing into the wall.

"Rodney…Ur, hello," he smiled sheepishly hoping to look innocent. Even if he managed it however, it appeared it wouldn't matter as Rodney advanced and he had nowhere to go. "Look, lad, we can talk about this, right?" His voice cracked.

"Tell me where the coffee is and I'll let you go."

"I canna do that, Rodney and you know it," Carson sighed then tried to inch away only to find Rodney's hands braced on either side of his head, his face up close. Carson swallowed nervously. "Rodney?" The other man ignored him and cocked his head to the side before leaning forward so his breath ghosted over Carson's ear.

"Tell. Me. Where. It. Is."

Carson shivered as the voice washed over him. "No…Huh? Wait, Rodney! What are you doing?" he panicked as Rodney dropped to his knees in front of him and started working on his fly. "Rodney!"

"Tell me where the coffee is," Rodney got his zipper open and reached in, pulling out Carson's cock and stroking it to hardness.

"No-uhg!" Carson gasped as Rodney swallowed him whole and sucked. Carson sputtered and tangled his hands in Rodney's shirt. "Rodgaspney, I groan can't! Uhhh!" Rodney doubled his efforts, holding Carson's hips against the wall as the other man started thrusting into his mouth. "Ahhh!" Carson moaned, God! Rodney was good at that! Figured with the mouth he had on him! He whimpered, should 'ave known Rodney would fight dirty. He could feel his orgasm coming when Rodney suddenly pulled back. He looked down and Rodney had a smug smile on his face. "Rodney!" he whined, his breath coming out in gasps.

"Where's the coffee?" Rodney asked, his voice low, it sent a thrill through Carson who held out for a few more seconds and before giving in.

"Sheppard's got it! Now, please-" Carson moaned as Rodney took him back in his mouth then jumped when he started humming. God, the vibration brought on his orgasm and he bit his lip to keep from crying out.

Rodney swallowed and hummed bring Carson to the edge and over it, he swallowed the tangy liquid and rocked back on his heels, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He smirked and looked up at Carson. His face was red and his mouth open and panting.

"Thanks," Rodney said with in a low voice that sent a whole new group of shivers down his spine. Rodney stood and headed off down the hall towards Sheppard's quarters. Carson could practically see the smugness coming off him and he wondered if John knew what was coming. Groaning he slid down the wall and collapsed in a heap. He didn't care if anyone saw him, he had no energy left.

**_1 Hour Later_**

John paused at the fork in the hall, mentally debating the chances of getting Radek and the other scientists to help him. Normally they probably would have, just to see Rodney get worked up at something other then them. However, John was realizing that was only the case as long as no coffee was harmed in the event. Whilst he hadn't actually harmed the coffee, he wasn't sure how you could unless you counted drinking it and that said, it was really the scientists who caused all the damage so—"GAAHH!"

thud _okay, that was the wall._

crash _and that was the floor._

"Fuck!"

crack _Holy #$!_

swish _Wow, the floor was cold._

tie _What the fuck! Where'd that rope come from?_

"Ha!"

"What the hell! McKay! Rodney! Where are we going? Get off me! Hey, untie me!"

Rodney grinned. "No. Way. In. Hell. Major." He cooed.

"Goddammit Rodney! Untie me! And its Lt. Col. I got promoted."

"Yes, which is why many people worry about the military leaders these days."

John growled, then glowered, but neither seemed to have any effect as Rodney hauled him up and dropped him in a chair, closing the door to John's room behind them and when the hell had Rodney gotten so strong?

"What are you doing?" He asked suspiciously. Rodney ignored him and kept poking around his quarters. "Hey! Don't go through my stuff! Rodney!" He spluttered; Rodney was going through his underwear drawer, casually flinging underwear everywhere, John blushed as his yellow smiley face boxers went flying and landed on his balcony. "Rodney…"

"I wouldn't have to do this Lt. Col. if you would just tell me where the coffee is," he paused, as if to give John a chance to answer and when he didn't, continued without missing a beat. "But since you won't, and I know you have it, it's a matter of eliminating the possibilities," he explained smugly and started going through John's bathroom.

_**An hour later**_

Rodney let out a string of curses that would have made any sailor proud. The coffee wasn't in John's quarters and he'd already checked everywhere else. He glanced at John, still tied up; sitting in the chair Rodney had tossed him in, staring at his room in dismay. Granted he had a right to. Rodney had torn his room to shreds searching for the coffee and he hadn't even found it. He muttered under his breath.

John sat in a stupor, staring around his room, or what was left of it. Geez, Rodney hadn't left one thing right side up. He snapped out of his stupor and turned a glare on Rodney. "You are picking everything up," he growled and on lesser men it would have had an effect, on Rodney, well it just served to make him more annoyed, which meant he was going to suffer more. Why couldn't he ever remember that? Suddenly he shivered. The look on Rodney's face…. "McKay?" he squeaked and any other time he would have berated himself for it, but now, he really didn't care because Rodney was looking at him like_ he_ was the missing coffee and he'd been missing for longer then a few hours. "Rodney?" his voice broke as Rodney advanced and dropped to his knees in front of him.

Rodney grinned as John's voice broke and he blushed when Rodney busied himself with he snaps on his BDUs.

"Rodney?"

"Yes, Major?"

"What are you doing? And it's Lt. Col."

"Of course, I apologize, I forgot," Rodney grinned when Sheppard went bug-eyed.

"Huh? WhaAHHH!" John jumped when Rodney's calloused, warm hand wrapped around his cock and gave a firm stroke upward, fingers ringing the head.

Rodney grinned. "I'll stop when you tell me where the coffee is."

John glared at him; he wasn't that easy, "No way in heLLL!" Okay maybe he was. His head fell back and his eyes rolled back in his head as Rodney wrapped his lips around the head of his cock and licked the liquid gathered at the tip. He made a sucking noise and gave a happy sigh, which alone made John squirm. "Rodney!" He panted. Damn, Rodney was good with his mouth, no scratch that, he was _great_ with his mouth! Which he realized, he should have guessed long ago. He moaned.

Rodney pulled back long enough to see John's eyes roll back in his head and gave a small, satisfied smiled before deep-throating the Major-Lt. Col. and he got a ridiculous amount of pleasure from the surprised jump the John made.

"Holy #$#! Rodney! Ugh!" John tried to thrust his hips, tried to force his cock further into the wet heat of Rodney's mouth, but he couldn't and he let out a sob of frustration. Rodney seemed to take pity on him because he pulled back and sucked, _hard_. "Yesss!" John hissed, with a moan of relief and pleasure; letting his body go slack in the chair.

Rodney grinned around John's cock; it wouldn't be long now. He turned his attention back to John's erection. The soft, warm shaft was thick and heavy in his mouth and like its owner, rather stunning to look at. Oh, they were definitely going to do this again. He reached up and cradled John's balls in his hand, massaging them gently.

John let out a happy sigh when Rodney fingered his balls, and spread his legs wider, allowing the scientist more access. He was rewarded when Rodney mouthed his balls, sucking lightly before moving lower, his tongue circling John's entrance. John let out a cry of surprise as Rodney's tongue pressed inside him. His hips bucked off the chair on their own, his legs widening even further, his body moving of its own accord, reacting to the pleasurable movements of Rodney's hands and tongue. "_Oh god_!" He whimpered, his head falling back. "Rodney!"

Rodney smiled and pressed his tongue further inside John, rimming him. It made John arch off the chair and let out something suspiciously like a scream past swollen lips. He smirked and pulled back.

"_Don't_…ugh…_stop_! _Please_!" John begged, though he'd deny it to the end of his days.

Rodney sucked John's leaking cock back into his mouth, putting his tongue and teeth to good use.

John thrust upward into the warm cavern of Rodney's mouth as Rodney deep-throated him, a sensation John had never felt before.

Rodney carefully slicked a finger in his mouth then found John's hole and slipped it in without a moments notice. John arched up off the chair with a howl, and then after adjusting to the intrusion, did the hottest thing Rodney had ever seen.

He started fucking himself on Rodney's finger, pressing himself down onto the finger whenever Rodney moved to pull out, whimpering when Rodney pressed against his prostrate. His entire body quivering when Rodney crooked a finger and scraped it down his inner walls. He felt Rodney's throat muscles contract around, massaging his dick and then Rodney started humming and John started seeing stars.

Rodney watched John's face as he hummed. Sweat rolled down over his forehead, his hair plastered to his head, his face contorted, eyes rolling back in his head, as his mouth opened in an endless scream as his body hummed, then went taunt, then seemed to explode in Rodney's mouth.

John felt his body go taunt, like a bowstring pulled ready to fire, it held there, nerves sharpened, the fire in his veins froze, everything holding then released with the force of a tidal wave on the turn of a dime. His orgasm slammed into him, and then seemed to wash right through him, pulling him after it, fire erupting into an inferno.

Rodney swallowed as John came, the tangy, warm liquid sliding over his tongue. He swallowed it all, milking John's cock for all it was worth. He then rocked back on his heels and gracefully stood up, licking his fingers. He leaned forward sliding the fingers into John's mouth. "Mmmm, so, the coffee?" he whispered nipping John's ear.

"Armory," John gasped, taking huge gulps of air.

"Mmmm, thanks," he nipped John's neck one last time, hard enough to mark and high enough for said mark to be seen.

"Mfurblegur," John just lay boneless over the chair, too shocked and sated to move.


End file.
